cleverly disguised as a responsible adult

I am thankful for spas and pedicures.

I'm thankful for two kids who are interested in the world and SCIENCE and are good helpers. We set up our Click and Grow Kickstarter Smart Herb Garden today. It's really cool and then we had to have the conversation about why plants don't sprout and grow immediately. https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/mattiaslepp/smart-herb-garden-by-click-and-grow

I'm thankful that books don't expire. I have a To Read pile of both physical and virtual books. I started on Neal Stephenson's "Reamde" today. It's fantastic and while I'm sad that I waited this long to read it, I'm not regretting picking it up.

I'm thankful that I can buy a sponsor membership to Loncon and get the Hugo voting packet. And vote. I'd love to go to a WorldCon someday, but it's not going to be any time soon.

I'm thankful for Xanax and all my other prescriptions. I like being a functional human being.

I'm thankful for henna and yarn and fabric and clay and paint and music and paper and all the other things that let me exercise the right side of my brain. I took one of those "What side of your brain is dominant?" quizzes. To my shock, I got about 85% right brain. Never, ever would I have guessed that. I built my academic career around being left-brained and I thought that's how I still was. Maybe in a couple months it'll be different again. 

I'm thankful for Advil and that right now it's enough to knock out the pain of my tendonitis. I've done so much crocheting over the last week or two that things are starting to hurt again. Balls.

I'm thankful for my neck wrap. It's warm, heavy, and filled with lavender and something else soothing and relaxing. I'm also thankful that my kids are short so they can't get it down and steal it. 

I'm thankful for my foam roller, for HabitRPG, and for being able to make tasty dinner out of leftovers and pantry staples. I'm thankful for cocoa butter, shea butter, and good lotion. I'm thankful for the good things in my life. I'm thankful that both kids are asleep. I'm thankful that Ox only threw up once today. I'm thankful for my HE washer and dryer. I'm thankful that tomorrow's supposed to be nice outside (finally). I'm thankful that I don't have many mirrors in the house so my jerkbrain doesn't have as much ammunition on the weekend. I'm thankful for Phineas & Ferb.

I am thankful for the internet. I'm thankful for my friends. I am thankful.

Before I forget the awesome of today, I must enumerate and be thankful.

1. I could leave work a little early and get home in very rainy daylight.
2. The grocery store in work town has the really good Irish soda bread again! Om nom nom.
3. Said bread is reasonably safe for Emi in small quantities - the only allergen in it for her is wheat! And she likes it! Win!
4. Ox learned how to give kisses. Not the open-mouth, slobber kisses of babies trying to eat your face, but real kiddo kisses. My heart about burst.
5. Every night I ask Emi to tell me something good that happened and ask her if anything upsetting happened. Tonight, her happy moment was when I came home from work.
6. Children's Tylenol is a nifty thing. Kiddo immune systems are extremely nifty. The kids are bouncing back, but still not 100%. Love them so much.
7. Gaming on Saturday! Yay! I have a somewhat crazy prop planned, but not nearly so crazy as the 8-page newspaper of "Sabine mainlined the entire available back catalog of Night Vale in the space of a couple weeks". They haven't fully exhausted all the possibilities of the newsletter yet. I have hope.
8. The latest actual podcast of Welcome to Night Vale ("WALK") wasn't as awesome as I was hoping. The live double-length episode available on Bandcamp is COMPLETELY WONDERFUL! Ah, Carlos. Ah, Cecil. Downwood was laughing at me as I was cheering for them and clapping at my phone. I care not. What a great ongoing story.
9. I sent Downwood a link to Disparition's Bandcamp page. We might have creepy, interesting mood music for gaming. I can't see a downside to this.
10. Early bedtime for me again tonight. I don't want to get sick and the best way to keep my immune system happy is to be well-rested and low stress. These things all give me silly smiles and make life better. I'm okay with that. 

Do we take the train to New Mexico or fly? Train is more expensive and will take longer, but will be an adventure, allow us to relax and sleep, and is ZOMG!TRAINZ!

Do I wear my teal sequins and a new peacock skirt and work on some sweet violin awesomeness or wear my new-to-me pink dress and zil to some old-fashioned balady at the next New(er) Dancer Night (if it happens)?

Do I really have time to get all this crap done?

Should I eat my leftover chili or leftover buffalo chicken first? Does it even matter? (Answer: buffalo chicken. Nom.)

Will "Total Workday Control" really help my anxiety issues at work around getting all the things done each day that I need to and not worrying about the rest? I'm willing to give it a try, but am skeptical.

Should I continue planning and making cosplay costumes since we're not going to GenCon? 

Should I work on Mt St Laundry tonight or continue procrastinating? We've got lots of clothes, right?

What part of my body should get ink next? What's important enough to me that it needs to be a part of me? 

Should I keep reading a book series if I spoilered myself (on purpose) and found out that it's going to be really, deeply annoying for me? I think No, but there's a part of me that feels a tiny bit loyal. Just a tiny bit.

Does quinoa freeze well? If so, I'm going to freeze this buffalo chicken salad because it reheats well and is OF THE NOM.

What would Wonder Woman do?

How can I add more glitter to my life? Or my wardrobe? Or anything?

Do I need a new hobby? 

ZOMG! NOM!

Should I start making my breakfast again instead of buying at work? I'll have to plan and clean out the fridge and stuff, but would it really be worth it and be a savings?

Should I not blog while I'm trying to eat lunch and fix my task list? That'd be good.

(thankful for dance class, microwaves, and having a team lead who understands workplace anxiety, the huge amounts of pressure on us, and wants me to do well)

I'm thankful that my meds are all long-release meds that it's sort of okay to miss a day. Sort of.

I'm thankful for my Kindle. I love having many, many good books literally at my fingertips.

I'm thankful for my "Songs To Make Me Smile" playlist. Even if putting in my headphones usually makes my phone ring immediately.

I'm thankful for actually getting an hour back out of my back-to-back-to-back meetings so I could, you know, do work.

I'm thankful for a trainee who's worth my time and will soon be fully taking over this customer.

I'm thankful for my new boots being totally awesome in appearance and, so far, not giving me giant blisters or other major pain.

I'm thankful for this fantastic purple nail polish. It still rocks my world.

That's pretty much how today's been.

Friday - I'm so thankful that bad days end. I was really past frustrated with everything involving work.

Saturday - Went and got my hair cut. I didn't double-check my calendar, so I got there at 10 instead of 10:30. So I got to sit, listen to music, drink good coffee, and read in peace until they were ready for me. It was very nice! Then I went home and got ready to game. This involved putting on a floofy skirt and corset, clearing the table, ordering pizza, and getting out a pile of papers.

My poor Scion players. I made the most ridiculous prop in the history of ever for them. It was an 8-page newspaper with horoscopes, classifieds, and custom news articles. I decided to give them a chapter or two of open-ended exploration instead of railroading them through a plot. Letting them discuss and choose which plot hooks they wanted to explore made my job a little harder - had to think on the fly of how things would play out - and a little easier - they spent a lot of time arguing amongst themselves of how they wanted to handle things.

And then Downwood gave me a margarita and made it his mission to keep it full. Holy god. I hope I didn't embarrass anyone, including myself. I eventually poured myself into bed and slept all the sleeps.

I'm thankful for margaritas, forgiving friends, really good sales at We3 Bellydance on eBay, and margaritas.

Sunday - Woke up a little hungover, but coffee and Gatorade fixed that. Folded three loads of clothes, then washed and folded four more. All the clothes are now clean. Oy. Did a little more henna on my legs and finished Downwood's Cthulhu hat. It's pretty amazing. Also, I helped Emi with her new art project. She learned how to thread a needle (a giant, dull yarn needle) with yarn and string beads on it. She's a bit obsessed, but that's okay. She had a lot of fun digging through the beads, sorting them, and figuring out which were big enough for the needle to go through and which weren't.

I'm thankful for Advil, coffee, music, and a little girl who loves making things as much as Momma.

Monday - Wow, I'm tired. I'm also sitting at my desk at work, looking at the pile of stuff I need to do, and wanting to say "Bugger all this for a lark". I need to do work - there are people counting on me and I like getting a paycheck. I just feel totally out of it and don't want to get yelled at or deal with the dumb. I'm just...argh. Burned out, could be the phrase. Frustrated, could be another. Really don't want to be here and dealing with this. Wondering if we're going to have dance because OMG!Mother Nature needs Xanax.

Why didn't I refill my emergency Xanax bottle in my purse? Things are not quite to Utterly Terrible, but are heading that way.

Fuck this. I'm-a go get a coffee. I'm tired of telling people to click on buttons that if they'd just followed the flow chart, they would have found it already.

I'm thankful for coffee (really, I can't emphasize this enough. Coffee and me, we're like THIS), soup, and being able to wear slippers around the office so I don't have to tromp everywhere in my snow boots. I'm also thankful that I have a car with high ground clearance and 4WD so I could get out of my driveway this morning and make it to work without being in the ditch.

Both Grandpa and Stepdad came through surgery as well as could be expected.

Ox is feeling better and is back to getting into trouble.

Emi is herself.

My new art projects are going well.

Cardamom cookies are delightful.

I'm going to go get more water now and try to not have anymore major stress before dance class.

Today I scheduled a sick day at work. I did this so I could stay home with the kiddos while Downwood went to get a ton of dental work done. I got Emi to the bus on time (yay) and got some dishes done and clothes folded and put away. Ox doesn't feel so good, so he snoozed most of the afternoon and demanded snuggles the rest of the time.

I also accomplished a few things. I went and paid our property taxes. I went to the tattoo salon in town and talked about the ink I want to get next. I also GOT A GIG! The owner of the salon saw the henna on my hand and asked if I'd be up for applying to other people. They apparently think that I'm really good at this, though I think I still need lots of practice. Anyway, I'll get paid to draw on people on April 26. Until then, I'm going to practice, practice, practice.

I also put together a really tasty bread pudding, ate some good soup Downwood made, and got to hang out with my sister, her boys, our cousin, and his wife.

Also, all three kiddos went to bed without fuss.

Life is good. I am thankful for all these things. 

Friday - Godawful drive home. Holy crap was it icy. I'm still not sure the person in front of me needed to go 17 mph most of the way, but there were stretches where 35 was iffy.  I'm thankful for 4WD, anti-lock brakes, and a husband being home to put salt on the drive way so that I could make it into the garage.

Saturday - Woke up to slush and ice everywhere. Decided to stay home, make soup, and stay warm. Ox started to feel puny again, but we had nowhere to be. I'm thankful for Xanax, tea, and cocoa.

Sunday - Emi and I went to JoAnn's, bought all the things, to the grocery store, got french fries, and came home. Ox wasn't feeling great, but went to bed like normal. He woke up about 2 hr later hacking. He couldn't get a breath, so Downwood called the emergency dr line, who told him to take Ox to the ER. As we were getting Ox to the car, he started throwing up and breathing even less. I'm thankful for police officers and EMTs who showed up immediately, verified that Ox wasn't in immediate danger of anaphylaxis, told us to get him to the doctor first thing in the morning, and didn't make us feel bad for panicking because they could see he wasn't breathing.

Today - I'm thankful for a job that's flexible enough to let me work from home in the morning so that Downwood and Ox could go to the doctor and Emi could sleep in. She TOTALLY slept through ALL the excitement last night. Didn't budge from the time I tucked her in until almost 8:30. She's still got a head cold and is pretty whiny about everything (oh gods, the DRAMA) but she's okay.

Downwood's going to pick up Ox's meds after an Ox nap. I'd love a nap, but I'm at work now and am looking forward to dance tonight. My ankle still hurts, so I just need to take it easy and not hurt it more. But I'm thankful that Ox was able to give me a big hug today when I left for work. Then he went back to playing trains. This is a much better situation than if he'd had to have an overnight at the hospital - at least this way we all got to wake up in our beds and we didn't have to get Grandma backup involved at 11 PM last night.

Gratitude for Day 8 (Yesterday) - Days end.

Gratitude for Day 9 - Music and dance.

I forgot to restock the emergency Xanax in my purse. This is a Big Problem. Yesterday and today are not good days for me. I'm just trying to keep going.

Tea, good lunch, Ox hugs, Night Vale podcasts, sleep, tea, exercise bike (very low resistance, so as to get my ankle back in working order), and craft planning. I need fabric stiffener (for crochet ornament thingies), Feb 14-themed fabric (for project for MiL), worsted-weight yarn (for cool hat for Downwood), and lavender fabric for a dress for me.

I could leave yarn off the list, but Downwood insists that a Cthulhu hat not be pink. He's silly that way. I'm sure there's a market for My Little Cthulhu accessories, but he insists that he's not a part of it. INSISTS.

Day 6 - I'm very thankful for my mute button. I've been on the phone with this person for 2.5 hours and I'm about at the end of my wits. Fuuuuuuuck.

In related news, I got another commendation for my patience and understanding with this difficult individual.

I need more tea. Argh.