cleverly disguised as a responsible adult

Our photographer handed over all the pictures that she took of us. I've gone through the first hundred or so pictures on the DVD, resized, cropped, and uploaded to both my LJ photo gallery and a photobucket account.

As I get more pictures uploaded, I'll be posting them.

And the album that she put together? Woah. You need to come over or invite me over so that you can see this thing. It's truly incredible.
( Huge pictures behind cut )

Downwood and I will be married in 5 hr 45 min. OMG.

Will post more coherently later. Many thanks to everyone in town for the festivities.

We spent the weekend down at the homes of Downwood's parents. Downwood went and got a Uhaul trailer, we dumped our old couch on the curb, took the chair to St Vinnie's, and took ourselves and the dog down for a visit. Downwood's mother gave us her old couch and loveseat (they're gorgeous), we went out for our birthdays, watched a lot of football, and hung out. Downwood spent a good deal of time setting up a new computer for his father, and did I mention the watching football on a HUGE HDTV?

Dude. When we're rich, I'm so buying one.

We had the slightly distressing experience of leaving our furkid with a babysitter overnight. We figured that if his dad will be taking care of Rain during the week we're on our cruise, we should start with a test run. She did okay, but missed us a lot. (Yay!) We didn't stay at his house with her because I'm allergic to his smoking and can't handle too many hours of breathing there.

As soon as we got home and brought in the new furniture, I started cleaning. Downwood was both distressed and determined to just stay out of my way. These are both appropriate responses. The living room is mostly done, which makes me feel a little better about the likelihood of getting everything clean enough for having guests here in two weeks. Two weeks...eep. (If you were invited and haven't RSVP'd yet - TELL ME NOW! I don't care if you come or not, just let me know!!)

I'm drinking a lot of tea and popping both Advil and melatonin. I ran out of my Happy Pills about three days ago. This be bad, Thag. I have an appointment tomorrow morning to get new 'scripts, so that will make my mental state something much more close to...sane.

Also, I have two shoe requests. If you know a place that has white flat shoes, preferably cute, I NEED TO KNOW THIS! We went to seven or eight places today and couldn't find any. I'm hitting David's Bridal tomorrow and have a little hope. I bought a pair online that turned out to be way too small, so am hesitant about buying another pair without getting to try them on. And, in that same line of thought, I bought a pair of boots (same size) that are WAY too big on me. They're exceptionally cute ankle boots (I'm buying them in the right size when I get paid) that have quite a bit of room in the calf. If you wear a size 10 or 11 shoe and will be in Mad-town, I'll sell 'em to you at a discount just so that I don't have to deal with shipping them back to Florida.

I think that's all. I'm going to go try to untense my brain and maybe scam a backrub out of Downwood.

Tomorrow is meds, work stress, shoes, meeting with the caterers, and sushi. Tuesday is getting dressed up for the Evil Empire's Halloween party, heading to Shopko to get new glasses, and passing out candy to the munchkin hordes. Wednesday is playing Final Fantasy 12 until my eyes bleed. Thursday...I don't know yet.

Rock on.

Thus far, this has not been a particularly traumatic October. Historically, October has been an extremely bad month for me and those close to me. Deaths of loved ones, relationships collapsing, cars disintegrating, grades plummeting, jobs evaporating, and the list goes on. I view the entire month with a fairly large amount of dread and un-anticipation.

No, neither Downwood's birthday on the 26th nor Halloween actually happen in October. The logic behind this assertion is complicated and difficult to explain. Suffice it to say, I can view these days with happiness and look forward to them, despite the month.

This year has actually been pretty good. We have to speak with the DJ, hotel, and cake bakery and that's it. We have everything else under control. Our photographer rocks and has some wonderful ideas that I'm incredibly excited to see happen. I'm going to start calling and emailing people who haven't returned their RSVP cards so that I can have an accurate count for the catering.

We went out to Eplegaarden last weekend. I came home with 15 pounds of apples. There's now a huge bag of apple chips on the counter, half a batch of applesauce in the freezer with two apple cakes, 3 dozen apple cake-muffins, and an apple pie on the counter. I absolutely adore cooking with apples. I'm tempted to go back for a 20 lb bag to make into apple butter, but I gave all my canning jars back to my mother. Drat.

There have been a couple of smaller disappointments in the month, but they're not as bad as they could have been. Work is putting a metric fuckton of pressure on me right now and stressing me out beyond all earthly reason. I told the customer on Friday that we had two things to do and it would all be wonderful. One didn't work and I screwed up on the other. Fuck. I have to get new tires put on my car and I have to lose an inch off my waist and hips. Tires are on Tuesday and I'm already down a half inch in a week.

And then we find out yesterday that two of our best friends are moving to Seattle. He's leaving in two days; she's following in two months. I'm doing my best to keep firmly in mind that this is a wonderful opportunity for them and that they love the west coast, but that selfish voice at the back of my head is saying how much it sucks for me. As far as October Tragedies go, this isn't that bad, but it still hurts. Thank God that we have cell phones, internet, and LJ to keep in touch. I'll just miss them very, very much.

A weekend in a nutshell is much better than a weekend in the nuthouse. I think. Though, I guess it really depends on what kind of nut you find surrounding you. It it's a pecan, I recommend staying. If it's a cashew, head for the looney bin.

Anyway, here are the highlights from the weekend and from today:

• Though it was nice getting out of town a little early on Friday, I'm not convinced that early mornings are my friend. Getting to work at 7 is one thing, getting there at 6 is an entirely different matter. It kind of sucked because I was leaving a lot of work undone when I left at 4, but staying until done would have meant 7 or 8, so I gave up.
  
• The drive down was, thankfully, uneventful. We made it to my parents' house safely and raided the fridge when we got there. I was tired enough that I didn't want to go down to the high school's homecoming football game, so we curled up on the couch with our books: Post Captain for him and Fragile Things for me. Mom and Bob got home and we caught up on gossip, life stuff, and Mom started trying to stress me out about the wedding.
  
• On Saturday morning, Mom and Bob headed out to be all civic-minded and pick up trash in the ditches. I slept in a bit, showered, read my book, and considered making something appley out of the 5-gallon Bucket Of Apple Doom. At some point in here, I managed to head over to fredericks.com and spend some money. cabell, the head's-up was very much appreciated...and I'm sure Downwood will thank you in about 6 weeks.
  
• We ended up making a couple of apple cakes and a really big pan of apple crisp. I consider this a warmup for next weekend after Downwood and I go to the orchard. I lurve baking with apples. Mmm...
  
• While Mom and I were cooking, Bob and Downwood were out shooting at things and being all manly in the woods. No, I didn't ask for details. No, I don't want any details volunteered. There are things that I do not need to know.
  
• Mom's quest to make me as stressed out as her was slightly derailed by the arrival of my sister. I had to give her the books and treats that I've collected for her and she gave me a book, too. I now have a copy of Runny Babbit to go with my other Shel Silverstein books. lilith_13 rocks.
  
• I ended up going back to fredericks.com to buy a few more things. See, Mom was complaining about not being able to fill out the top that our stepbrother picked out for her to wear. He'd said that it'd work fine with a good push-up bra. Sis and I agreed, so when her back was turned, we hit the internet. I expect to get a call from her in the next 7 days or so asking about the lingerie that showed up at her door. I plan to claim that I had my identity stolen, but wasn't that nice of them to get her a present? I think this will work well.
  
• The afternoon was spent with my sister, football, and a pitcher of margaritas. After a couple glasses of tequila and beer (Don't ask.) we headed to church. Oddly enough, the readings, the music, and the sermon were all about marriage and how to succeed at it. No, it wasn't a "sign". It just kind of happened that way. Really. Yes, I'm going to stick to that story.
  
• After church, we headed to this little hole-in-the-wall bar. This is the kind of place that I grew up going to with my stepfather. The greasy, smoky dive in the middle of nowhere that just happens to have Fucking Amazing Food. This one is in a town that does not exist on the map of Iowa, but had the best fried chicken that I've EVER had. It was just as much of a religious experience as Mass. The ONE THING that would have made it better was a better beer. Miller Lite is just not that tasty - I don't care that it's cheap and plentiful. (Yes, the kegs at our reception are going to be good beer. I can't believe you even asked that.)
  
• We got home at the end of the first quarter of the Iowa State-Nebraska football game. Yay for watching our beloved Cyclones on national TV! I'm just going to leave that there. Yes, I will remember the joy of getting to watch my team and not the heartbreak and frustration of watching the refs screw them over and then the entire team snatching defeat from the jaws of victory. No, I'm not bitter. Nope, not me.
  
• Sunday morning Bob made biscuits and sausage gravy. After this, Mom, Sis, and I went to get my wedding dress fitted. The seamstress's house was absolutely beautiful. My dress is beautiful. Unfortunately, I haven't been running nearly enough lately. Dammit. It fit in February, but not yesterday. Mom latched onto this and I have not heard anything else from her since. (Though, she's not bitching about anything else, so I think I'll keep it.) I do have to go find new shoes, though. Preferably, something with a negative heel. I'm too tall - the dress is barely long enough when I'm in bare feet. Still, even without getting zipped all the way, I had a perfect hourglass figure and looked...wow. I love that dress.
  
• The Bears game...I'm not so much certain that we can call it a "game" as a "schooling". Downwood was much pleased by this.
  
• The trip home was also uneventful, and made more fun by some reading and a lot of talking. Someday, we may run out of things to say to each other. I hope that day is years and years away.
  
• My To Do list for wedding stuff actually seems somewhat manageable, which is a nice change from the AAAAHHHHHHHHH that it was before. My To Do list at work keeps growing and I've been called twice at home tonight by people needing my opinion on what they're doing. I feel important! Or, it could be a sign that I need to share what I'm doing with more people so that the knowledge is easier to find.
  
• My exercise routine has just been increased to much more aerobic activity. I think that I'm going to be fine with the dress, and if I can get back to where I was last summer, I'll be much happier with the Me In The Mirror.
  
• I did a little game planning this weekend. Got some ideas bouncing around of ways to drop mountains on people. If only good things happened to them, it wouldn't be interesting, would it? This led to the side effect of wanting to actually write up the back story, which led to the following exchange.
  
  Me: I can write in first person. I can write pure dialog. Hell, I can even write fairly well in second person. This third person crap? Absolutely impossible.
  Downwood: No, you can do this. Just start typing and you'll get into it. It doesn't matter if you have to totally rewrite the first chapter. It's okay to have to try again.
  Me: I can try again? Okay, I'll just apply that bit of wisdom to this whole wedding thing. Gee, suddenly I feel a lot better knowing that I can just erase it and start again when I feel like I've gotten better at marriage.
  Him: Touche.

Early this morning Downwood and I headed into Mad-town to the church where we will be married in two months and two days. While the good monsignor did his best to convince us that the hoops the Catholic church requires us to jump through aren't so much "hoops" as "attempts to ensure that your marriage will last 5, 15, and 50 years".

So. Hoops.

Today was scheduled as a Marriage Preparation Retreat. Why we waited until football season to give up a Saturday for this, I don't know. There were two couples leading the thing and Father Ken providing church backup for them. Luckily for everyone involved, they supplied us with coffee. Yay, coffee!

It wasn't as bad as I was expecting. We never had to get up in front of the group and talk about...anything. We listened to the leader couples talk about challenges they've faced, then we wrote down our thoughts and feelings on the subject, exchanged papers with our betrothed, and then discussed it with only them. At the end of the day, there was a Q&A session, a review of the program, and we were ordered to write each other a love letter there on the spot.

It was much more rewarding than I'd expected. I was anticipating a day of discomfort, being preached at, being told how to Succeed At Marriage The Catholic Way, and not getting anything out of it. In reality, I think I came away from it with a more questions about me, the man I'm marrying, and the way we choose to live. I think that learning the answers to the questions may take quite a while, and that's more than okay by me.

And the love letter? Well, at least I wasn't the only one in the room sniffling and looking for the tissue box. Definitely something to treasure.

So my mother was up here yesterday to "help" with wedding stuff. It was a train wreck, but I'm mostly okay now. In amongst the unhelpful suggestions was a comment that I've decided to latch onto as a pearl of wisdom tossed into a pigpen of criticism. When we were speaking about the honeymoon, she said, "Most cruises have a theme or dress-up night or something. Have you thought about getting new clothes to wear?"

I, of course, can not take this to mean what she wants it to mean. To do that would be to be other than that which I am.

I'm going to need garments made of strategically placed lace and scraps of satin. Something new. Something pretty. Something that if I showed Mom, she'd faint dead away and blush for the next six months. I've shopped at Victoria's Secret and Frederick's, but I suspect that there have to be more internet stores than these. Any suggestions would be most appreciated by me now and by Downwood in about three months.

I need an emoticon or icon for "stunned into bashfulness by generosity and kindness".

Details to follow at 11. AM. Once I wake up again.

If you've been paying attention at all, you know that Downwood and I are getting married on November 18th.[1] Things are actually starting to come together on the planning front, which means that they're on my mind a lot more than in the past. [2] It has been brought to my attention that not everyone wishes to view rantings of this nature, so I am about to construct a special friends filter.[3] If you wish to be added to the Bridezilla filter, drop me a comment here, on email, or through IM.

Thank you. That is all.
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1 - If you can come up with an alternative verse to "Remember, remember the fifth of November..." I'd really appreciate it. My brain isn't coming up with words that fit any sort of rhyme scheme or meter and Downwood refuses to let me incorporate gunpowder and treason into my wedding planning just to follow the rhyme.
2 - I obsess. I worry. I plan. I stress If these are not also clear by now, you need to look into some reading comprehension courses.
3 - Hmph. I'm a pretty princess and *of course* the rest of the world cares about *exactly* the same things that *I* care about. Really.

I got to spend 2.5 hours at the spa yesterday. The girl there gave me an absolutely FANTASTIC pedicure and a superb manicure. I've felt pretty from that for the last day.

In the mailbox today was a package that I ordered from eBay. My veil showed up! So, as you probably expect, I'm walking around the house in blue jeans, old t-shirt, and veil. I am a pretty princess! I adore this veil and can't wait to see what it looks like with the tiara and dress! More sparklies! The princess demands sparkles!! Mwahahahaha!!!


Er, right. I'm going to go back to twirling and gazing delightedly at my reflection. Toodles!