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sabineHaving my usual pre-performance anxiety freakout. It doesn't help that I'm at work and, though I'm not on the phone all freaking day, I have so much to do that my internal motivation is just like, "Fuck it. Nothing matters".
I'm still OMG upset with my appearance. My hair is nice and when I look down at myself I think I look okay, but all the mirrors around me reflect someone who's trying to hard and just shouldn't. I'm worried about what I'm going to look like tonight.
I'm freaking out internally about using this song. I know it'll be fine, especially if I credit M by saying it's an adaptation of her work - there are bits of the song that just scream out for her choreography - but I can't help the worries.
Emi will be there. No matter how I dance, she'll be proud of me. She is so powerful and confident and beautiful and smart. And I'm her Momma, so obviously I'm powerful and confident and beautiful and smart, too.
Maybe that needs to be my affirmation. I am the person my daughter thinks I am. Maybe not quite as magical, but just as real.
I'm still OMG upset with my appearance. My hair is nice and when I look down at myself I think I look okay, but all the mirrors around me reflect someone who's trying to hard and just shouldn't. I'm worried about what I'm going to look like tonight.
I'm freaking out internally about using this song. I know it'll be fine, especially if I credit M by saying it's an adaptation of her work - there are bits of the song that just scream out for her choreography - but I can't help the worries.
Emi will be there. No matter how I dance, she'll be proud of me. She is so powerful and confident and beautiful and smart. And I'm her Momma, so obviously I'm powerful and confident and beautiful and smart, too.
Maybe that needs to be my affirmation. I am the person my daughter thinks I am. Maybe not quite as magical, but just as real.
