open letters
Mar. 24th, 2006 01:46 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sabineDear Asshole in Dodge truck,
I'm not sure what good you thought tailgating me would do. Yes, I realize that my Buick does not have quite the same intimidation factor as your Big Honkin' Truck. This, however, does not give you the right to follow me so closely that, should I check my rearview mirror, I can't see any part of your vehicle below the grille.
Yes, I was going a bit over the speed limit when you caught up to me. Yes, I slowed down to exactly the speed limit once you started trying to get me to go faster.
Eagerly awaiting the news of your high-speed encounter with a telephone pole,
Sabine
-----
Dear Abs,
I concede the point that I haven't really been working out at all the last six weeks or so. I acknowledge my mistake and I'm taking steps to rectify the situation. That being said, there's no need to stage a revolt this early in the game. I only did a short workout on Wednesday so quit complaining. You'll be getting another dose of it tonight when I get home and tomorrow morning and the day after.
Quicherbichin' and tell the rest of the muscles in my torso to follow suit. I'm depending on you for this. You know as well as I do that this is necessary.
Shut up about it already,
The control room
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Dear Dumbass,
You shouldn't be going 30 mph in a crowded parking garage. You work for the Evil Empire, so I know you have a degree. Use a modicum of common sense and you won't get the string of profanities next time. Yes, I was glad that the polite driver in front of you got my fabulous parking spot when I left.
No love,
Me
I'm not sure what good you thought tailgating me would do. Yes, I realize that my Buick does not have quite the same intimidation factor as your Big Honkin' Truck. This, however, does not give you the right to follow me so closely that, should I check my rearview mirror, I can't see any part of your vehicle below the grille.
Yes, I was going a bit over the speed limit when you caught up to me. Yes, I slowed down to exactly the speed limit once you started trying to get me to go faster.
Eagerly awaiting the news of your high-speed encounter with a telephone pole,
Sabine
-----
Dear Abs,
I concede the point that I haven't really been working out at all the last six weeks or so. I acknowledge my mistake and I'm taking steps to rectify the situation. That being said, there's no need to stage a revolt this early in the game. I only did a short workout on Wednesday so quit complaining. You'll be getting another dose of it tonight when I get home and tomorrow morning and the day after.
Quicherbichin' and tell the rest of the muscles in my torso to follow suit. I'm depending on you for this. You know as well as I do that this is necessary.
Shut up about it already,
The control room
-----
Dear Dumbass,
You shouldn't be going 30 mph in a crowded parking garage. You work for the Evil Empire, so I know you have a degree. Use a modicum of common sense and you won't get the string of profanities next time. Yes, I was glad that the polite driver in front of you got my fabulous parking spot when I left.
No love,
Me
