random things make a post
Jul. 29th, 2015 04:27 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sabineWork is batshit crazy. My task list is out of control, as is my notepad, as is my inbox. I am slowly, slowly restoring order from chaos. I've put out the fires and am getting some things done before the next outbreak.
Therapy yesterday was no fun, as usual. Trying to confront the fact that my internal monologue is not very nice to me. The lists of Rules are really not helpful. Don't look like you're sad. Don't look like you're worried. Don't admit that you're not enjoying life. Don't brag. Be proud but never boast. Pride is a sin, anyway, so you should stop that, too. Don't take the last piece of anything. Stop taking up so much space. Be perfect. Always, always be perfect.
Kidz are kids. Ox is getting more and more vocal. Not so much with the words, but still MOAR SOUNDS! Emi is creative, strong, and determined. And sometimes a pill.
Still can't play GW2. Stupid anxiety, but this is apparently a break I need to take.
I got past the uncomfortable place in my book ("The Magicians", Lev Grossman) - the place where I could see the main character about to make some incredibly stupid mistakes and had to put the book down because the Fictional Uncertainty Principle states that until the badness is observed (read) the characters are still okay - and now am in a part that's less uncomfortable and more interesting. I want to slap the main character, but he's 21 and hasn't yet figured out that the world doesn't actually owe him squat, much less happiness.
I'm listening to "Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers", which is both interesting and gross. But mostly interesting.
The people in the offices around me seem to do nothing but socialize all day. This wouldn't be bothersome except that one of them is someone I'm trying to train to be amazing and I just want her to do her work, dammit.
I'm not doing any of the SitG workshops or shows. The workshops seem expensive for what I may or may not get out of it. Also, I'd much rather hang with friends in a lower-stress environment than sit through a show. Dunno. Am emotionally, mentally, and physically tired.
I wonder if there's a time next week when I can call in sick and go get a tattoo. That'd be nifty.
Therapy yesterday was no fun, as usual. Trying to confront the fact that my internal monologue is not very nice to me. The lists of Rules are really not helpful. Don't look like you're sad. Don't look like you're worried. Don't admit that you're not enjoying life. Don't brag. Be proud but never boast. Pride is a sin, anyway, so you should stop that, too. Don't take the last piece of anything. Stop taking up so much space. Be perfect. Always, always be perfect.
Kidz are kids. Ox is getting more and more vocal. Not so much with the words, but still MOAR SOUNDS! Emi is creative, strong, and determined. And sometimes a pill.
Still can't play GW2. Stupid anxiety, but this is apparently a break I need to take.
I got past the uncomfortable place in my book ("The Magicians", Lev Grossman) - the place where I could see the main character about to make some incredibly stupid mistakes and had to put the book down because the Fictional Uncertainty Principle states that until the badness is observed (read) the characters are still okay - and now am in a part that's less uncomfortable and more interesting. I want to slap the main character, but he's 21 and hasn't yet figured out that the world doesn't actually owe him squat, much less happiness.
I'm listening to "Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers", which is both interesting and gross. But mostly interesting.
The people in the offices around me seem to do nothing but socialize all day. This wouldn't be bothersome except that one of them is someone I'm trying to train to be amazing and I just want her to do her work, dammit.
I'm not doing any of the SitG workshops or shows. The workshops seem expensive for what I may or may not get out of it. Also, I'd much rather hang with friends in a lower-stress environment than sit through a show. Dunno. Am emotionally, mentally, and physically tired.
I wonder if there's a time next week when I can call in sick and go get a tattoo. That'd be nifty.
