weekend thoughts
Feb. 9th, 2015 11:07 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sabineFriday - Was a long day. I got to work extremely early because I had to leave extremely early. I got more done before 9 than the rest of the day. This should say something about the number of calls, meetings, and interruptions I have. Phooey.
In the afternoon, I went to our elementary school to hang with Downwood and Emi while Ox played with one of the 4K teachers for Early Childhood Development Days. It's a yearly thing for kids from zero to 4 for the teachers to check them out and verify that development is happening at the right pace. Ox's evaluation: for everything except talking, he's WAY ahead of where they expect. He knows letters, numbers, shapes, colors, and prepositions. He just can't verbalize any of it.
Their official recommendation: Come to 4K in the fall. The worst case scenario is that he repeats 4K, which isn't the worst thing in the world. As my mom put it, this fall may be his redshirt 4K year. And that's fine. It would move him from being the youngest kid in the class to the oldest, but not by much. And it may turn out to be just the thing to get him to start speaking suddenly in full sentences.
After the school visit, Downwood and the kids went to get fries and I went home to continue to work. I worked for another couple hours, until Ox came in and literally pulled me away. He wasn't feeling well (fever and cough) and NEEDED Momma to snuggle him on the couch. Where he proceeded to fall asleep in my arms.
Downwood took Emi to and from her Girl Scout troop meeting - cookie sales begin next week! let me know if you want any - and Ox stayed in my arms. He eventually woke up, but still felt puny and didn't want to be put down. Much, much later than usual, he finally went to bed.
Emi was beside herself all evening. Totally wound up and refusing to slow down. Such is life.
Saturday - Had a bit of a slow morning. Downwood didn't feel well, so I hung out with the kids for a bit. Then I packed a lunch/snack and went to the tattoo gallery. My artist was running late (flat tire) so we got a late start and didn't get quite as much color done as I'd hoped. Still, it's INCREDIBLY BEAUTIFUL and I'm very, very happy with it. We talked and I read my books. I'm sad to hear that she's going to stop being a full time tattoo artist, but understand her reasons. If you're very very good at your job, but it causes your collarbone and ribs to dislocate themselves, maybe it's time for a change. Hopefully, I can stay on her list of clients that she'll take occasional commissions from because DAMN.
Right when I got home, I found out that we'd be going out to dinner with friends. They're moving to Texas in a week and a couple months (staggering to complete a lease and find new place and all that), so we wanted to spend some time. The move makes total sense for these two - it'll get him closer to his daughter, which is always good - but we're going to miss them.
They stayed and talked long after I put the kids to bed.
Sunday - Downwood still didn't feel well, so I got up with the kids again. Emi and I made cinnamon rolls for breakfast and I showed her how to read the label to find the instructions. I did a TON of laundry, played just a bit of GW2, and read lots and lots of books with the kids.
After putting some clothes in the washer, I took a little time to hem a skirt that's been sewn for about a month now. Baby steps. One step at a time.
Ox kept falling off of furniture. One of the crashes was after putting all the pillows they could find on Emi's bed and jumping. He hit his head and was in pain, scared, and upset. He was so worked up that he ended up throwing up all over me, him, and Emi's bed. So more laundry. And more and more hugs.
Both kids were in rare form and I lost my cool more than once. There were still lots of hugs and snuggles and books, though, so that's a good thing.
Today - I am wrung out. I'm very tired and my arm hurts. I'm getting things done, but I'm pretty spaced out. I'm not looking forward to tomorrow, since I have a therapy app't at 9. My whole day will be thrown into disarray and I'll either have to stay stupid late or work from home after the kids go to bed. Ugh.
I'm having some major anxiety issues, too. Lots of panic about nothing and worry and many, many feelings of total inadequacy. Little things that should mean nothing are direct reflections of my worth. This is, of course, ridiculous, but it's where my head's at. If I was a good person, I'd finally get my thank you notes written. If I had any worth, I'd be keeping up with the crochet-a-long that I signed up for. If I was a good wife, I wouldn't be bitter about my husband getting to sleep in every day (not entirely true, but feels like it). If I was a real adult, I'd have finalized our Germany plans, budgeted better, and have things done. Since I haven't done any of those things, obviously I'm a failure as a human and just shouldn't be here anymore.
Ridiculous, but it's how things are going today. Bleah.
In the afternoon, I went to our elementary school to hang with Downwood and Emi while Ox played with one of the 4K teachers for Early Childhood Development Days. It's a yearly thing for kids from zero to 4 for the teachers to check them out and verify that development is happening at the right pace. Ox's evaluation: for everything except talking, he's WAY ahead of where they expect. He knows letters, numbers, shapes, colors, and prepositions. He just can't verbalize any of it.
Their official recommendation: Come to 4K in the fall. The worst case scenario is that he repeats 4K, which isn't the worst thing in the world. As my mom put it, this fall may be his redshirt 4K year. And that's fine. It would move him from being the youngest kid in the class to the oldest, but not by much. And it may turn out to be just the thing to get him to start speaking suddenly in full sentences.
After the school visit, Downwood and the kids went to get fries and I went home to continue to work. I worked for another couple hours, until Ox came in and literally pulled me away. He wasn't feeling well (fever and cough) and NEEDED Momma to snuggle him on the couch. Where he proceeded to fall asleep in my arms.
Downwood took Emi to and from her Girl Scout troop meeting - cookie sales begin next week! let me know if you want any - and Ox stayed in my arms. He eventually woke up, but still felt puny and didn't want to be put down. Much, much later than usual, he finally went to bed.
Emi was beside herself all evening. Totally wound up and refusing to slow down. Such is life.
Saturday - Had a bit of a slow morning. Downwood didn't feel well, so I hung out with the kids for a bit. Then I packed a lunch/snack and went to the tattoo gallery. My artist was running late (flat tire) so we got a late start and didn't get quite as much color done as I'd hoped. Still, it's INCREDIBLY BEAUTIFUL and I'm very, very happy with it. We talked and I read my books. I'm sad to hear that she's going to stop being a full time tattoo artist, but understand her reasons. If you're very very good at your job, but it causes your collarbone and ribs to dislocate themselves, maybe it's time for a change. Hopefully, I can stay on her list of clients that she'll take occasional commissions from because DAMN.
Right when I got home, I found out that we'd be going out to dinner with friends. They're moving to Texas in a week and a couple months (staggering to complete a lease and find new place and all that), so we wanted to spend some time. The move makes total sense for these two - it'll get him closer to his daughter, which is always good - but we're going to miss them.
They stayed and talked long after I put the kids to bed.
Sunday - Downwood still didn't feel well, so I got up with the kids again. Emi and I made cinnamon rolls for breakfast and I showed her how to read the label to find the instructions. I did a TON of laundry, played just a bit of GW2, and read lots and lots of books with the kids.
After putting some clothes in the washer, I took a little time to hem a skirt that's been sewn for about a month now. Baby steps. One step at a time.
Ox kept falling off of furniture. One of the crashes was after putting all the pillows they could find on Emi's bed and jumping. He hit his head and was in pain, scared, and upset. He was so worked up that he ended up throwing up all over me, him, and Emi's bed. So more laundry. And more and more hugs.
Both kids were in rare form and I lost my cool more than once. There were still lots of hugs and snuggles and books, though, so that's a good thing.
Today - I am wrung out. I'm very tired and my arm hurts. I'm getting things done, but I'm pretty spaced out. I'm not looking forward to tomorrow, since I have a therapy app't at 9. My whole day will be thrown into disarray and I'll either have to stay stupid late or work from home after the kids go to bed. Ugh.
I'm having some major anxiety issues, too. Lots of panic about nothing and worry and many, many feelings of total inadequacy. Little things that should mean nothing are direct reflections of my worth. This is, of course, ridiculous, but it's where my head's at. If I was a good person, I'd finally get my thank you notes written. If I had any worth, I'd be keeping up with the crochet-a-long that I signed up for. If I was a good wife, I wouldn't be bitter about my husband getting to sleep in every day (not entirely true, but feels like it). If I was a real adult, I'd have finalized our Germany plans, budgeted better, and have things done. Since I haven't done any of those things, obviously I'm a failure as a human and just shouldn't be here anymore.
Ridiculous, but it's how things are going today. Bleah.
