open letters

[sabine]

Dear Sir,

You don't actually want my critique of your process. Really, you don't want me to tell you what I really think of your random, nitpicky, repeated over and over questions. I'll be professional and everything, just don't push me on this. You can't handle it.

Sincerely,
Sabine

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Dear South Florida,

What the fuck is wrong with the people who live there? Is it something in your water supply? Is this what happens when people have Vitamin D or humidity overdose? For serious, I've never worked with such belligerent, angry, aggressive, and refusing-to-learn people. Ever. And it's not just one site - I could excuse it as that organization's corporate culture of awfulness - but it's carried over to an entirely separate site. What the hell? What are you DOING to people down there?! What. The. Fuck.

Please drop into the ocean,
Sabine

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Dear uterus and hormones,

You realize that if you keep fucking with me, I will TOTALLY CUT YOU OUT OF MY BODY, OMG YOU HAVE NO IDEA. Just stop it with the insanity and mood swings and chronic exhaustion. I'm as stable as I ever get today and I'm freaking sick of this roller coaster of bad. Stop it. Stop it now.

Planning the outpatient surgery,
Sabine

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Dear brain,

Seriously? This is the song you want to have on repeat? I like it, sure, but I'm not a good enough dancer to do anything to it. Thanks for the confidence, but I don't think it's going to happen.

Confused love,
Sabine

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Dear coworkers and customers,

When the hell am I supposed to actually do work, guys? "Sabine, can I have 30 min?" "Sabine, I need an hour." "Sabine, you have to be on this call because we'll probably need you but not really". The hell? Not cool, people, not cool.

I hate you,
Sabine

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