weekend

I'm still sick, but getting around better. I should probably go to the doctor at the end of the week if I'm still rattling and hacking. My cough is pretty darn impressive.

Thursday evening was Emi's winter concert. Alex won't be in it until next year. Since I'm sick and Alex goes to bed early, he and I stayed home and watched the livestream of the concert, texting my mom as we all watched together from our various living rooms.

Did I mention our rural elementary school livestreams important events - concerts, graduations, and the like? Because it totally does. I love living in the future.

Friday was mostly for coming home from work and dying. So tired.

Saturday was mostly lovely. I didn't get to sleep in, but I got to get things done when everyone was still sleeping. Downwood took the kids grocery shopping and left me alone in the house for 3.5 glorious hours. I did my meditation, drank tea, and did a lot of sewing on xmas presents.

I also didn't get to sleep in on Sunday. I woke up coughing and went out to sleep on the couch. I don't think I was out there long before Emi and Ox were up and bouncing on me. Ugh. I love them, but no jumping on Mom when she can't breathe.

We put up the Christmas tree. Ox was BESIDE HIMSELF with joy. SO EXCITED.

I did a lot of laundry and frantic sewing. One of our friends with small kids is facing a possible entire lack of presents from Santa. I was already going to send them something, but decided to make some more things. Luckily, I had enough fluffy warm fabric on hand to make a mermaid tail blanket for each girl.

Then Emi wanted to wrap presents. This was not fun for me. I had to bring all the wrapping stuff upstairs. Then I had to go through all the presents and pull out everything not for our immediate family. And get it sorted. And then teach Emi how to wrap. And how to spell "Grandma". And every other name in our family.

Not. Fun.

But all the presents to go to our families are wrapped. All the presents that need to be mailed are wrapped. The presents for the friends mentioned above have no From names on them, the better to be from Santa if necessary.

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I'm having my usual winter anxiety and mental upset of the holidays. It's not so bad this year, mostly. I have days and hours where the anxiety's getting to me, but it's not quite as constant as I remember it being.

Reasons for better mental state this year: meditation, art, therapy, new anti-anxiety meds.

I'm trying to shut down the negative thoughts and be more at peace with who and where I am. It's not easy. Coloring and drawing are helping. Sewing is helping. Not setting up intricate travel plans is helping.

I'm REALLY looking forward to the week between xmas and New Years. There will be psych appointments. There will be Paint Nite. There will be sewing. There may well be sleeping. There will be games to play.

I can do this. I can make it through this.

I can also re-listen to some of my favorite books. That helps.