high anxiety day
Aug. 4th, 2015 12:05 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sabineToday is a high anxiety day. There are some internal/biological factors (period, headache, neck/back ache, tired) and some external factors (job has high stress, new problems that MUST BE FIXED NAO). I've finally admitted that this isn't going to go away by itself due to FAR too much worry and stress about today, so I will take my meds, get something to eat, and work on one thing at a time.
I will also try to recap the weekend as best as I can.
Friday
After spending nearly 11 hours at or near my desk, home was a wonderful place to be. I went to bed early because work was so darn early.
Saturday
I did a little laundry and a little sewing. Most of the sewing was clearing the scraps and remnants from my sewing table and getting my fabric stash (some of it, anyway) into order. In the process, I cut out a pair of pants (P4P Palazzo FTW) and found two projects that were cut and just needed to be sewn.
During the afternoon, I started to get anxiety flashes about going to MH for the evening. My brain says "It's a social situation, so you should PANIC", even though it doesn't make much sense.
I got through it, put on a new dress, and took Emi up to MH to watch Ozma dance and hang with Au and family, RH, and newer dancer K.
Holy buckets. Ozma is AMAZING. The costume and the zils and the WOW! It was worth getting home super duper late.
Sunday
Laundry day. Sewing day. Tired day.
In the evening, Emi had a T-ball game. It was late in the evening (7 pm) so it could be "under the lights". They divided the kids into three teams and each team got two chances to bat and two to field. And, of course, every kid got to score a run.
Emi's batting form is way better than most of the other kids. The problem with her fielding is that she's playing the game as she's meant to: stay in your position and cover your assigned area. The other kids....not so much. They were mobbing the ball and pretty much ignoring where they'd been assigned on the field. One of the boys would run from third base, over to first base to get the ball, and then would run with the ball to home plate. No throwing it to team mates, just going for personal glory. Little fucker. So Emi didn't like fielding because she never got a chance to catch or throw the ball.
Monday
Got to my desk bright and early. Looked at my phone and remembered that I had a med check up in Madison. Luckily, I was at my desk early enough to make it to my appointment on time. It was a sad appointment since my doctor - the one who's been treating me for 6-7 years - is leaving the clinic. So I have to get a new dr. Yay.
Work was just...ugh. So many competing priorities and people demanding. Just...I need to get to my sabbatical. I need a break from this. I'm nearly back to having panic attacks just walking in the door. Not cool.
Because the T-ball game got over at 8pm, we'd promised Emi that she could have a lemon ice on Monday instead of right after the game. So I sat in the Culver's drive through for 15 minutes, waiting on a small meal for me and a lemon ice for her. When I walked in the door, Ox nearly mugged me for my fries and drink (fruit punch, since I was expecting this) and Emi tore into her treat.
Today
I'm very tired. The Advil, Xanax, lunch, and music are starting to help. I still have a crapton of things to do, but I don't feel like telling my backups I'm sick and need to go home.
Tonight is for picking Emi up from dance, doing some back-to-school shopping (Emi's going to be in FIRST GRADE. How'd the time go so fast?!), getting a fast-food dinner, and then sleeping.
Upcoming calendar - Nothing until Saturday. Saturday, if it's not ghastly hot, will be for dressing up in steampunk and going to the Ren Faire in Bristol. If it's ghastly hot, we'll stay home and not get heat stroke.
I will also try to recap the weekend as best as I can.
Friday
After spending nearly 11 hours at or near my desk, home was a wonderful place to be. I went to bed early because work was so darn early.
Saturday
I did a little laundry and a little sewing. Most of the sewing was clearing the scraps and remnants from my sewing table and getting my fabric stash (some of it, anyway) into order. In the process, I cut out a pair of pants (P4P Palazzo FTW) and found two projects that were cut and just needed to be sewn.
During the afternoon, I started to get anxiety flashes about going to MH for the evening. My brain says "It's a social situation, so you should PANIC", even though it doesn't make much sense.
I got through it, put on a new dress, and took Emi up to MH to watch Ozma dance and hang with Au and family, RH, and newer dancer K.
Holy buckets. Ozma is AMAZING. The costume and the zils and the WOW! It was worth getting home super duper late.
Sunday
Laundry day. Sewing day. Tired day.
In the evening, Emi had a T-ball game. It was late in the evening (7 pm) so it could be "under the lights". They divided the kids into three teams and each team got two chances to bat and two to field. And, of course, every kid got to score a run.
Emi's batting form is way better than most of the other kids. The problem with her fielding is that she's playing the game as she's meant to: stay in your position and cover your assigned area. The other kids....not so much. They were mobbing the ball and pretty much ignoring where they'd been assigned on the field. One of the boys would run from third base, over to first base to get the ball, and then would run with the ball to home plate. No throwing it to team mates, just going for personal glory. Little fucker. So Emi didn't like fielding because she never got a chance to catch or throw the ball.
Monday
Got to my desk bright and early. Looked at my phone and remembered that I had a med check up in Madison. Luckily, I was at my desk early enough to make it to my appointment on time. It was a sad appointment since my doctor - the one who's been treating me for 6-7 years - is leaving the clinic. So I have to get a new dr. Yay.
Work was just...ugh. So many competing priorities and people demanding. Just...I need to get to my sabbatical. I need a break from this. I'm nearly back to having panic attacks just walking in the door. Not cool.
Because the T-ball game got over at 8pm, we'd promised Emi that she could have a lemon ice on Monday instead of right after the game. So I sat in the Culver's drive through for 15 minutes, waiting on a small meal for me and a lemon ice for her. When I walked in the door, Ox nearly mugged me for my fries and drink (fruit punch, since I was expecting this) and Emi tore into her treat.
Today
I'm very tired. The Advil, Xanax, lunch, and music are starting to help. I still have a crapton of things to do, but I don't feel like telling my backups I'm sick and need to go home.
Tonight is for picking Emi up from dance, doing some back-to-school shopping (Emi's going to be in FIRST GRADE. How'd the time go so fast?!), getting a fast-food dinner, and then sleeping.
Upcoming calendar - Nothing until Saturday. Saturday, if it's not ghastly hot, will be for dressing up in steampunk and going to the Ren Faire in Bristol. If it's ghastly hot, we'll stay home and not get heat stroke.
