![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
the Director's Cut
Most of the below text was posted as a comment in ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
revrb's journal, here
(is a locked post, btw). After a day or so of consideration, I realized that I had more that I needed to say. So, I decided to write a couple of extra features for the Special Edition. If you tilt your head, it even has different camera angles! *grin*
If I'm so together, why do I feel like I have nothing under control right now?
Upon much reflection, I've come to the conclusion that the above sentiment is how most of the world's feeling at any given time. I think it's much more common to not know what's going on, even as you are attempting to act in such a way that leads people to believe that you've got an inside line on events.
At least, it seems to be that way with the people who actually take the time to contemplate their actions and look for meaning in the chaos of life. The people who don't wonder about why things are the way they are or question reality are the people who are only half alive.
See how I'm pretending to understand what's going on even as I think to myself, "you know, this is only what you think. You could be totally off base and be offering the opposite of help. You don't actually know what any of this is true. Where do you get off pretending to know what's going on? Idiot."
ahem. *pulls brain out of self-criticizing pattern*
We don't actually get to control very much in the world. We can control what we do in response to any situation and that's about it. We can't control what we think, most of the time, and we certainly can't control how we feel. An easy trap to spring on yourself is the thought of, "I shouldn't feel this way. I should be calm/happy/sad/proud/rueful/guilty/ecstatic/nauseated/jealous/etc." There is no "should" in emotions. This isn't fair, but it's unfortunately how it is.
We feel how we feel. Our emotions give us clues to what we really think about any given situation. I can say with my mouth, “no, that doesn’t bother me,” but my emotions will definitely let me know if I’m trying to fool someone, even if that someone is me. Emotions are merely signposts on the road of life. I’ve learned the hard way that sometimes they’re there to warn you of the falling rocks or washed-out road ahead.
Attempting to control emotion will backfire. Attempting to control someone else’s emotions, thoughts, or actions will eventually backfire – usually in a spectacular fashion. Parents all learn this at some point with their children. Friends, lovers, coworkers, enemies, and political leaders will sometimes forget this. We cannot control anyone else. We can try, but when it comes down to it, if they’re going along with what you want them to do, it’s their choice, not yours.
So, what are we supposed to do if every attempt to manipulate the reality around us is so limited? While my notion of always having a hip flask of tequila is appealing, society in general (especially the traffic laws) doesn’t approve of this. There’s a similar lack of support for my wish to always be prepared with a bottle of cholorform, zip ties, and duct tape for those grr sort of days. But I digress.
“For who would bear the whips and scorns of time? The oppressor’s wrongs, the proud man’s contumely, the pangs of disprized love, the law’s delay, the insolence of office…” I think you get the picture. What are we supposed to do? If everything that we do in our life is prescripted from the moment we enter the world, then why should we try to find meaning in our activities? Why should we care if we’re doing the “right” thing or not?
I don’t believe that our lives have already been written. For all that I say that I’d like to know where the hell my script is, what act we’re in, and when it’s time for the big musical number, I’m actually kind of glad that I don’t necessarily know what I’m doing in the big picture at any given moment. Usually, I’m glad if I can honestly say that I know what I’m doing in the moment that I’m doing whatever it is.
I don’t believe that everything in our lives is set in stone because I believe that we are given free will as a prerequisite for being born human. We always have a choice. Yes, sometimes the choice is so horrible or repugnant that it seems like the choice isn’t there. But it is. Always.
This then goes back to the limited number of things we can control. Our choices control our actions. Our actions can influence our thoughts and our mood – which we can’t always (or, in my case, usually) control.
What’s the take-home lesson from all of this? Hell if I know. *grin* It’s your choice as to which parts of this you remember. If you agree, fine. If you think that I’m talking out of my ass, fine. I said earlier that I don’t know everything. This is just how I see things. Again I say, this too shall pass. Things change. How we change with them is up to us.
Ok. Done pontificating. Please comment, I’d like to know what y’all think. *smile*
revrb's journal, here(is a locked post, btw). After a day or so of consideration, I realized that I had more that I needed to say. So, I decided to write a couple of extra features for the Special Edition. If you tilt your head, it even has different camera angles! *grin*
If I'm so together, why do I feel like I have nothing under control right now?
Upon much reflection, I've come to the conclusion that the above sentiment is how most of the world's feeling at any given time. I think it's much more common to not know what's going on, even as you are attempting to act in such a way that leads people to believe that you've got an inside line on events.
At least, it seems to be that way with the people who actually take the time to contemplate their actions and look for meaning in the chaos of life. The people who don't wonder about why things are the way they are or question reality are the people who are only half alive.
See how I'm pretending to understand what's going on even as I think to myself, "you know, this is only what you think. You could be totally off base and be offering the opposite of help. You don't actually know what any of this is true. Where do you get off pretending to know what's going on? Idiot."
ahem. *pulls brain out of self-criticizing pattern*
We don't actually get to control very much in the world. We can control what we do in response to any situation and that's about it. We can't control what we think, most of the time, and we certainly can't control how we feel. An easy trap to spring on yourself is the thought of, "I shouldn't feel this way. I should be calm/happy/sad/proud/rueful/guilty/ecstatic/nauseated/jealous/etc." There is no "should" in emotions. This isn't fair, but it's unfortunately how it is.
We feel how we feel. Our emotions give us clues to what we really think about any given situation. I can say with my mouth, “no, that doesn’t bother me,” but my emotions will definitely let me know if I’m trying to fool someone, even if that someone is me. Emotions are merely signposts on the road of life. I’ve learned the hard way that sometimes they’re there to warn you of the falling rocks or washed-out road ahead.
Attempting to control emotion will backfire. Attempting to control someone else’s emotions, thoughts, or actions will eventually backfire – usually in a spectacular fashion. Parents all learn this at some point with their children. Friends, lovers, coworkers, enemies, and political leaders will sometimes forget this. We cannot control anyone else. We can try, but when it comes down to it, if they’re going along with what you want them to do, it’s their choice, not yours.
So, what are we supposed to do if every attempt to manipulate the reality around us is so limited? While my notion of always having a hip flask of tequila is appealing, society in general (especially the traffic laws) doesn’t approve of this. There’s a similar lack of support for my wish to always be prepared with a bottle of cholorform, zip ties, and duct tape for those grr sort of days. But I digress.
“For who would bear the whips and scorns of time? The oppressor’s wrongs, the proud man’s contumely, the pangs of disprized love, the law’s delay, the insolence of office…” I think you get the picture. What are we supposed to do? If everything that we do in our life is prescripted from the moment we enter the world, then why should we try to find meaning in our activities? Why should we care if we’re doing the “right” thing or not?
I don’t believe that our lives have already been written. For all that I say that I’d like to know where the hell my script is, what act we’re in, and when it’s time for the big musical number, I’m actually kind of glad that I don’t necessarily know what I’m doing in the big picture at any given moment. Usually, I’m glad if I can honestly say that I know what I’m doing in the moment that I’m doing whatever it is.
I don’t believe that everything in our lives is set in stone because I believe that we are given free will as a prerequisite for being born human. We always have a choice. Yes, sometimes the choice is so horrible or repugnant that it seems like the choice isn’t there. But it is. Always.
This then goes back to the limited number of things we can control. Our choices control our actions. Our actions can influence our thoughts and our mood – which we can’t always (or, in my case, usually) control.
What’s the take-home lesson from all of this? Hell if I know. *grin* It’s your choice as to which parts of this you remember. If you agree, fine. If you think that I’m talking out of my ass, fine. I said earlier that I don’t know everything. This is just how I see things. Again I say, this too shall pass. Things change. How we change with them is up to us.
Ok. Done pontificating. Please comment, I’d like to know what y’all think. *smile*