Entry tags:
weekend of emotional ups and downs
Friday
I got up extra early and finished packing. Then I went to my dentist appointment and got my teeth scrubbed. I realized when I got there that my breakfast was still sitting on the kitchen counter. Blast.
After the dentist, I worked until noon. I made the mistake of answering my phone right as I was trying to leave, but it was a co-worker who understood that I was heading out the door.
I raced home, ate breakfast for lunch, and then went down to the tattoo/art gallery in town to do henna for them. Once again, foot traffic was light, but I got many compliments on my work. I got more practice in with the glitter henna - I need to make a drop cloth or something to deal with the mess - and did some lovely "real" henna. I need to buy more adhesive and gilding powder because this is totally fun.
After a couple hours, Downwood came and picked me up. We fetched Emi from school and drove to the booming metropolis of Des Moines to stay with my sister for the weekend.
Saturday
Baby snuggles! A slightly lazy morning with my sister, nephew, and family and then we went over to the skilled nursing facility to visit my grandpa.
Grandpa is still making progress with the nursing therapy people. This is good. But he's not going to get well enough to go home. The wound is closing and the infection's been taken care of, but the cancer spread and he's refused any more treatment.
This was the first time he ever looked OLD to me. The rest of the more local family said that he was looking a thousand times better than when he first went into steep decline in Jan/Feb, but he's frail and shaky, and not able to get around under his own power.
My kids didn't understand. How could they understand? I remember visiting my great-grandpa in the nursing home, but he was in late stage Alzheimer's and didn't know who we were. He knew he had a great-granddaughter named Sabine, but didn't know me. My grandpa is still sharp - his sense of humor's still there, he asks questions, remembers everything, but he's too frail to play or be touched much.
We left shortly before lunch and ate with my mom and grandma. Then we went up to the park to burn off some energy. Then back to grandma's house so the kids could play with Grandma and my sister and I could talk with our grandma. Mom snarked at me about my tattoos and I let it roll off me. I care not what she thinks about my priorities and how I'm going to regret it or get tired of it or whatever.
When the kids were too worn out to be social any longer, we went back to my sister's house. She and Downwood went out to Costco and the grocery store and brought back tasty bbq for dinner. I got to snuggle the baby (Ox got TOTALLY jealous) and watch animated Robin Hood with my kids.
Sunday
Woke up in good time, got cleaned up. Packed all the things back into our suitcases. Gave hugs and snuggles. After a quick stop for provisions, we left my sister and nephew and went back over to the SNF to see Grandpa.
If anything, Sunday was harder than Saturday. Knowing that the next time we're scheduled to be back is Father's Day and not knowing what his condition will be like, I was trying to rein in my kiddos and soak up as much Grandpa as possible. Eventually, he got tired and needed to rest before lunch, so we took off for home.
After another long drive, we came back with two tired and wound-up kids. I did a bunch of laundry, serged the pre-pinned seams on my WIP dress, re-serged the seam on Emi's pillow so she'd stop pulling out all the stuffing, and did some other cleaning. We read books and snuggled. I was really sad and down and Downwood kept trying to cheer me up.
Today
I'm continuing being sad and quiet. I have my new Maleficent doll added to my desk lineup. I've eaten breakfast, purchased more henna glitter supplies, and tried to do work. I've mostly failed at the being productive part of my day, but I can dream.
I'm looking forward to dance tonight. I get to have "Chinese" food from the grocery store, read my book, see my friends, and focus on something on the outside of my head. The new choreography will be lovely. It's going to be okay. I just don't feel okay right now.
I got up extra early and finished packing. Then I went to my dentist appointment and got my teeth scrubbed. I realized when I got there that my breakfast was still sitting on the kitchen counter. Blast.
After the dentist, I worked until noon. I made the mistake of answering my phone right as I was trying to leave, but it was a co-worker who understood that I was heading out the door.
I raced home, ate breakfast for lunch, and then went down to the tattoo/art gallery in town to do henna for them. Once again, foot traffic was light, but I got many compliments on my work. I got more practice in with the glitter henna - I need to make a drop cloth or something to deal with the mess - and did some lovely "real" henna. I need to buy more adhesive and gilding powder because this is totally fun.
After a couple hours, Downwood came and picked me up. We fetched Emi from school and drove to the booming metropolis of Des Moines to stay with my sister for the weekend.
Saturday
Baby snuggles! A slightly lazy morning with my sister, nephew, and family and then we went over to the skilled nursing facility to visit my grandpa.
Grandpa is still making progress with the nursing therapy people. This is good. But he's not going to get well enough to go home. The wound is closing and the infection's been taken care of, but the cancer spread and he's refused any more treatment.
This was the first time he ever looked OLD to me. The rest of the more local family said that he was looking a thousand times better than when he first went into steep decline in Jan/Feb, but he's frail and shaky, and not able to get around under his own power.
My kids didn't understand. How could they understand? I remember visiting my great-grandpa in the nursing home, but he was in late stage Alzheimer's and didn't know who we were. He knew he had a great-granddaughter named Sabine, but didn't know me. My grandpa is still sharp - his sense of humor's still there, he asks questions, remembers everything, but he's too frail to play or be touched much.
We left shortly before lunch and ate with my mom and grandma. Then we went up to the park to burn off some energy. Then back to grandma's house so the kids could play with Grandma and my sister and I could talk with our grandma. Mom snarked at me about my tattoos and I let it roll off me. I care not what she thinks about my priorities and how I'm going to regret it or get tired of it or whatever.
When the kids were too worn out to be social any longer, we went back to my sister's house. She and Downwood went out to Costco and the grocery store and brought back tasty bbq for dinner. I got to snuggle the baby (Ox got TOTALLY jealous) and watch animated Robin Hood with my kids.
Sunday
Woke up in good time, got cleaned up. Packed all the things back into our suitcases. Gave hugs and snuggles. After a quick stop for provisions, we left my sister and nephew and went back over to the SNF to see Grandpa.
If anything, Sunday was harder than Saturday. Knowing that the next time we're scheduled to be back is Father's Day and not knowing what his condition will be like, I was trying to rein in my kiddos and soak up as much Grandpa as possible. Eventually, he got tired and needed to rest before lunch, so we took off for home.
After another long drive, we came back with two tired and wound-up kids. I did a bunch of laundry, serged the pre-pinned seams on my WIP dress, re-serged the seam on Emi's pillow so she'd stop pulling out all the stuffing, and did some other cleaning. We read books and snuggled. I was really sad and down and Downwood kept trying to cheer me up.
Today
I'm continuing being sad and quiet. I have my new Maleficent doll added to my desk lineup. I've eaten breakfast, purchased more henna glitter supplies, and tried to do work. I've mostly failed at the being productive part of my day, but I can dream.
I'm looking forward to dance tonight. I get to have "Chinese" food from the grocery store, read my book, see my friends, and focus on something on the outside of my head. The new choreography will be lovely. It's going to be okay. I just don't feel okay right now.