cleverly disguised as a responsible adult

Thing I did - Have finished both my business casual dresses - Queen of Hearts and Cheshire Cat.
Thing I did - Submitted a claim through Etsy to get the person to whom I paid money for Cheshire ears and tail. I've not heard a single word from him/her since I paid. I am resigned to not having these in time for the con.
Thing I need to do - Either find a heart purse on Amazon or go to the store and get some wooden pieces to put together to make a heart scepter. Also, E600 my teacup fascinator to a headband and it's done.
Thing I need to go - Get my Glow Cloud costume bits consolidated. Raid Emi's stuffed animal collection.

Thing I did - Got Mother's Day gifts for both my mom and Downwood's mom.
Thing I need to do - Finish decorating my last linen panel, then sew up the gift bags. I couldn't find any canvas in my stash, but I found some natural colored linen. I have Sharpies. I have mad Zentangle skills. I think you can see where this is going.

Thing I did - Worked from 1:45-3 on Saturday. AM, not PM. Felt pretty miserable all day Saturday as a result.
Thing I did - Got my hair cut Saturday morning. Just a trim to freshen up my layers. My next one's in June and I'll probably have her hack off a bunch of the length then, since it might be summer. Maybe.
Thing I did - Got a new tattoo on Saturday. It's a lotus and it's intensely lovely. It's on my left shoulder and I've decided it's the start of my sleeve. I'd been thinking about sleeving my right arm, but my peacock is so glorious that anything else seems unnecessary. But I can do a bouquet of flowers down my left arm. Yus.

Thing I did - Hemmed a pair of capri leggings for me.
Thing I need to do - The rest of the hemming from that batch of sewing. But first I broke my needle, then when I got out a new one, my bobbin decided to be terrible. So I rage!quit and haven't gone back to it. I also need to go buy more ballpoint needles.

Thing I did - Made my aerobic exercise goal for the week, according to Fitbit. I've found that I can use our stationary bike and do my Spanish Duolingo homework at the same time. Two birds, one stone.
Thing I need to do - Keep it up. Keep pushing myself to do better.

Thing I did - Got permission from work to start taking Comp Sci classes.
Thing I did - Applied to UW to be a "Special Student"
Thing I need to do - Continue waiting patiently for them to process my application. Then, assuming they accept me, get registered, pay tuition, buy books, all the college things.

Thing I did - Figured out the rules for "No Thank You, Evil". Got Downwood, Emi, and Alex through char gen. Ran a small adventure for Downwood and Emi (Alex wandered off).
Thing I did - Explained to Emi what "meta-gaming" and "power gaming" are and why she can't just add new gadgets to do things for her whenever she runs into a snag. Downwood was an excellent role/roll model for her. Surprisingly fun for all of us.
Thing I need to do - Come up with an idea for the next adventure
Thing I need to do - Find a date/time for our grown-up gaming group to meet

Thing I did - Backed out of going to my half-sister's graduation party. I'm going to be in Miami 5/14-5/18 and St Louis 5/23-5/26. My sanity won't allow me to try to shoehorn a trip to Iowa and Kansas in there from 5/20 to 5/23. Not going to happen.
Thing I need to do - Buy a gift card. Mail it.

Thing I did - Found fabric in my stash for new dresses
Thing I need to do - Adjust the sleeves on the wrap pattern to be a bit more snug. Or just put a contrasting cuff on it. Or fix it. See if I can convert a short sleeve to a flutter sleeve for my Moneta pattern. I think I know what to do, just not sure how it will look.
Thing I need to do - Cut them out once I update my patterns.

Teacher M is down with my plan to start a Comp Sci certification program this summer. Anything to make me more stable and happier in my job is a good thing, especially since I don't plan on quitting. My health insurance is amazing, yo, and I need it.

Back in January (I think), I was working on a wearable muslin of a pea coat pattern. I kept thinking that it'd be okay, but turned out to completely not fit. So I took it to class last night and had ReplyHazy try it on. It fit and I told her it was hers. She has to sew on the buttons and cut the button holes, but everything's there. I am sort of sad because it's totally awesome, but I don't have the energy to take it apart to make it fit better. I know more for next time, that's for sure. And RH is super cute in it. And she can appreciate the total nerdery of the somber exterior and kind of silly lining.*

I did a bunch of yoga over the weekend. It felt nice, so I'd like to keep doing this. I didn't have the energy this morning, though. Tuesdays are hard. Maybe after work. Or something. I just need to get more active again. I'll feel better.

Werk's Spring Conference of Minor Doom is this week and next. Our culinary options are limited, since we're feeding all the extra people instead of the usual employees.** I bought bananas and granola bars to have at my desk to help with the limited menus. They're still sitting at home on the kitchen table. I has a sad.

Dungeon Roll is the current game of choice for Downwood and me. It's us against the dice instead of us against each other, so it doesn't end with hurt feelings (he crushes me in pretty much every game we play ever). It doesn't take forever to set up.*** Also, Emi and Alex can roll some of the dice to help, but they don't yet understand that they can't then manipulate the dice until Momma or Daddy has decided what to do about the current layout.

I cracked 125k words on the writing project I'm sharing with Downwood. The plot thickens and the characters are about to have a series of very bad days. Mwahahahaha.****

I caved and bought all three new flavors of peanut M&Ms. None of them suck. I was surprised. The Honey Nut are standard peanut M&Ms, just a bit sweeter than normal. The Coffee Nut ones have a nice coffee bitterness to them. The Chili Nut ones have a surprising amount of heat on the back end. Downwood claims that the red Chili Nut M&Ms have more heat than the other colors in the pack. Clearly, I need to eat more M&Ms. FOR SCIENCE.

I've been wearing tinted lip balms for the last couple months and I love it. My current favorite is Neturogena MoistureSmooth color stick in Rich Raisin. I feel pretty.

My officemate has been in the office the last two weeks. She's been on the phone and loud pretty much constantly. She was going to be out this week and I was excited. Then she cancelled her trip because of things on fire and full of bees. I am disappointed.

I'm wearing my new dress from this pattern. I'm wearing a tank top under so that the v-neck is more work-appropriate. It's comfortable and cute, which is nice.

----
*Star Wars. It's mostly lined in flannel with a lovely navy contrast print on lapels and cuffs. Totes adorbs.

**Not bitter, truly, just annoyed that my usual routines are disrupted. They're moving my cheese and I do not approve.

***I'm looking at you, Pathfinder card game. You're fun, but SERIOUSLY.

****A lot of guys ignore the laugh, and it's about standards. I mean, if you're gonna get into the Evil League of Evil, you have to have a memorable laugh. What, do you think Bad Horse didn't work on his whinny? His terrible death-whinny?

The view from my window today is not motivating. It is gray and rainy and icky. Bleah.

I'm wearing "I don't care" clothes today. Bright red palazzo pants (so comfy), xkcd shirt, UW ball cap, WtNV hoodie, and my favorite walking shoes. This doesn't actually improve my mood at work, I've found. If I look nice, I think I do better work, since I feel better about things. At least I'm comfortable.

Emi and I are continuing to cheer each other on in our 30 Day Plank Challenges. It feels good to do this with her, even as she's CRUSHING ME. Her starting baseline time was 30 seconds longer than mine. I'm so proud!

I felt virtuous last night. I finally submitted my nominations for the Hugo ballot. I worked primarily from my Goodreads shelf, sorting by publication date. Turns out that I'm REALLY BAD at reading new books in a timely manner. Lately I've been really bad at reading in general. I don't know what's wrong with me.

I really wish they served booze at work. This phone call is killing my soul. I've explained the same thing approximately SEVEN THOUSAND TIMES. Argh.

Platypus Evolution and Octopus Evolution are stupid time sinks, but they're oddly soothing little games. The critters rapidly become things that wouldn't look out of place at a petting zoo in Night Vale. I like it.

I'm on an anxiety roller coaster spiral deathmatch today. Various unpleasant emotions are cluttering up my mind. I'm using the tricks and tools from years of therapy and meditation, but it sucks.

I caved at Walgreens and bought a bunch of different lip glosses and tinted lip balm. I've been meeting my NY Resolution of "wear lipstick more often" and wanted new options. The lady in the cosmetics department convinced me to try a matte lip gloss, which seems like a contradiction of terms. I picked a dusty rose color that seems to be doing good things, as long as you say that getting lip prints on everything is a good thing.

Alex is on the mend. He's finally well enough to go back to school.
Downwood is down for the count. His immune system finally caved and he's got the crud that the rest of us have been fighting off.

It's voting day! Woo!

Werk Giant Conference of DOOOOM's theme this year is "Adventures in Wonderland". YOU GUYS, I AM SO EXCITED FOR THE COSPLAY POTENTIAL YOU HAVE NO IDEA.

The thing that Downwood and I are writing is just shy of 68k words. I'm proud of us.

My anxiety wants to break free and swallow me. I'd rather it didn't. I think I need to take a walk at lunch.

Emily has been a pill lately. I want to raise her to be a strong woman, but I don't know if we'll survive it. So much attitude in such a small package.

I got new glasses! Stylish, hip glasses and actual prescription sunglasses! All hail Zenni Optical!

I had lunch with Downwood and Alex! They brought me my old glasses, since my new ones are pretty tight.

I finished the Anxiety pack on Headspace! Onto learning more about Self-Esteem! But, seriously, I've learned some good things about my brain and how I think. I like this feeling.

I've started on our work Happiness Challenge! One of my coworkers wanted to start a 21-day Be Happier Challenge. I chose three of the five activities: meditate daily (yeah!), a random act of kindness, and write down three unique gratitudes. My random act of kindness today was to write a nice note on the back of one of my zentangles and give it to that coworker. She said it made her day.

My invisible Sith cloak continues to improve my posture and body language!

My writing project with Downwood is over 25k words! Whoa.

I am wearing lipstick today. It's almost exactly the same color as my lips normally are, but with a gold shimmer. It still counts toward my resolution.

I got to play Lego with Alex yesterday afternoon. He got to do a color consult on a tangle I drew. He proved that he knows more words: door, locked, on, off, big, small, tea, pee.

Downwood gets to have a couple more MRIs and a seizure test. The neuro folks are concerned, but not worried.

My anxiety hasn't seemed so bad lately. This is a nice thing to realize.

Downwood and I are up to 13k words in this game thing. It's starting to be a respectable story. He says I'm a better writer than he is, especially with dialogue. I said that I read a lot more than he does and I've been reading aloud to the kids for a while. There may be other ways to learn about voices, but it's a pretty good one.

I haven't been able to sit and read lately. My attention span isn't working for it. I can sit and write, which is incredibly weird, but I can't read.

My silver Alegria mary jane heels continue to be stompy and sparkly and awesome.

I may be getting some of my responsibilities shifted at work. This will be a good thing, as it'll let me get back to doing other things that I love.

I made my will save against buying new fabric just because it was on sale. I am victorious!

In an effort to appear more like I have my act together, I've been walking around today with the posture I'd use if wearing a big flowy cloak. I also have had Darth Vader's march playing in my head. These things are related.

Too many things have gone 'splody today. I needed to buckle down and get work done, but SO. MANY. INTERRUPTIONS. Very frustrating.

My notebook at work is slowly filling up with intricate doodles. I'm okay with this. I like making pretty things.

I have presents yet to wrap. This is troubling. I have no presents yet to buy. This is validating.

I will leave work today and go to the bank like a mother-fucking adult. Our holiday bonuses aren't direct deposited and I'd like to pay off a good chunk of my credit card debt. I will go to Walgreens and pick up my prescriptions. I will go to the grocery store for provisions for the upcoming weekend.

I will then go home and not leave until Monday. I can do some sewing, some reading, play some Guild Wars 2, and crack open all the Kickstarter games that are piling up everywhere. I won't have to wake up with an alarm clock until the 31st - Emi has an early morning eye appointment. I'll continue working through the Anxiety pack on Headspace. It's a different mental practice than some of the other cognitive behavior therapy techniques I've been taught over the years. This is relaxing and doesn't seem to be adding to the anxiety in my head. This is a good thing.

I'll see my sister in a week.

I need dis.

Work is being annoying today. I have things to do that are monotonous and annoying. They need to be done, but they're not fun or intensely interesting. And I have to log in at 9 pm to do some work that ABSOLUTELY MUST be done after hours. Tomorrow will require more coffee than usual.

I have 11 working days left until my xmas break. I'm really, really looking forward to this.

Downwood racked my amber ale from the primary fermenting bucket to a carboy today. As he was prepping all the stuff, Alex ran back to the den and brought my new 1-gallon test batch equipment in. He tried to set it up so that he could do what Daddy's doing. So cute. He'll get to help me when I put together my 1-gallon test batch of cranberry mead. I don't want to commit to 5 gallons when I'm not sure this will work. We'll see.

I made it all the way through dance last night. The choregraphy is a Reda/Yousry mashup that's delicate and deceptively fast. My lungs didn't fall out. WILD SUCCESS!

I'm slowly filling up my work notebook with elaborate doodles. Intricate doodles. Mehendi-inspired, Zentangle-inspired, fantastic doodles. Art helps. It's centering and meditative.

I put on new Espionage Cosmetics nail wraps today - Treasure Map. I haven't seen the glow in the dark easter eggs yet, but I will later tonight. I don't actually love this design on my nails though...they're an antiqued parchment color that's just not working with my bleached porcelain complexion.

Life does not suck. It's frustrating and sometimes boring and worrying, but it doesn't actually suck.

Transcript of chat log with my husband.


SabineDownwoodSabineDownwoodSabineDownwoodSabineDownwoodSabineDownwoodSabineDownwoodSabineDownwoodSabineDownwoodSabineDownwoodSabine