friday yay

Oct. 28th, 2016 02:52 pm
sabine: (Default)
I am sitting at my desk without my glasses. Both pairs that I have with me today are pretty tight across my ears. Add into the mix that I'm wearing a long purple/pink Arda wig, and I have a recipe for a splitting headache.

Pink/purple wig? Yes. I have my wig, my purple glasses, far too much eye shadow, my fluffy purple/pink ears and tail, pink tights, and the Moneta I customized into a business casual Cheshire Cat dress. So, yes, for our office trick-or-treating, I'm dressed as a terminally cute Cheshire Cat. I feel pretty.

Unfortunately, the trick-or-treating is from 4-5. Emi gets home from school shortly after 4 and has Girl Scouts at 6 and we live 30 minutes from my office. So I'll just be dressed up and handing out candy and toys to kids of co-workers. I'm disappointed and the kids are disappointed, but we can't bend space and time to make this work.

My plans for this weekend are to do homework, study for my midterm, decide what to wear to work on Monday, clean, and maybe sew. Maybe carve pumpkins, too. Anxiety is building up about many things, most of which I can't control. So I will do my best to get through October unscathed and deal with it later.

For now, though, I am pink and purple and adorable. That's enough.

weekend

Oct. 17th, 2016 02:29 pm
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Thursday - Med check at noon. I took a half sick day after it and just went home. I was headachy, but mostly just needed the mental health break.

Parent-teacher conferences went well. Both kids' teachers are happy with them. Alex, in particular, is so far beyond where he was last year, that his teachers are overjoyed.

Friday - Dressed up for Formal Friday in a vaguely western/steampunkish ensemble. I was happy with it. Came home and collapsed. We thought Emi had Girl Scouts, but our Google calendar tricked us. That was all to the good, as she didn't end up eating much dinner and probably would have been ultra-cranky at the end of it.

Saturday - Alex's cold kicked into high gear. Emi melted down about going to tap, but had a good time once we got her out of the house. I worked on work issues (upgrade happened in the wee hours of Saturday morning), CS homework, cleaning the kitchen, and sewing. I've made a good start on Hogswatch presents.

Emi and I made a tuna-noodle casserole that both tasted good and was safe for EVERYONE to eat. Alex had a couple noodles, but then asked for plain noodles. It was too weird to have all the things mixed up like that, but he tried it. So it was a win.

I ended up going to bed at halftime of the UW game. I am tired and need sleep.

Sunday - Homeboy was pretty miserable. Emi had been begging and begging, so we finally took our fall trip to the apple orchard. The walk from the entrance to the trees exacerbated Alex's asthma and he was totally miserable. Emi and I picked some apples and we were off. Fastest orchard visit ever. Still, we got some good apples, some fresh apple cider, and Emi got to go into their food area and buy some cider all on her own (Alex didn't want to go in, just wanted me to hold him, so Emi stepped up and was awesome).

I got all my laundry done and most of my homework. I still have a couple of bugs to work out of the homework and it's due tomorrow, so I'll be doing that instead of anything fun tonight. I got some sewing done and some more cleaning done. Alex just wanted to lay on top of Mom, so my productivity took a major hit. Still, I got enough done that I didn't beat myself up about it at the end of the day.

Today - zomg. Everything is on fire and full of bees. People across the country are panicking at me. I'm still kind of in a mode of  "Behold the fields in which I grow my fucks. Seest thou that they are barren?". My Calming Voice is getting a workout today. I haven't rolled a 1 on anything yet and my aura of "Magic of Tech Support" has already given me a couple of free saving throws.

Also, I'm tired. Alex isn't sleeping well, so neither are Downwood and I. Ugh.  But I'm wearing my new Nyx "soft matte lip cream" in Monte Carlo. It's a lovely bright red, though the matte texture is taking a little getting used to.

WOOOOOOO!!!

Oct. 5th, 2016 02:59 pm
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IT'S DONE! IT'S DONE! THE BIG PROJECT ON WHICH I STAKED MY REPUTATION AS A USEFUL SOFTWARE DEVELOPER IS DONE!!!

IT. IS. GLORIOUS!

AND DONE!

It's probably not as thoroughly tested as it would have been had I gotten it done far, far earlier in the dev cycle, but it does exactly what it claims to do. I have enhancements, sure, but it's READY FOR THE WORLD!

EVERYONE HAPPY DANCE!

All hail!

Sep. 27th, 2016 10:33 am
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Our Culinary teams close shop from 7-10 days before the Giant Werk Conference of Doooom to a couple days after. We do all the catering ourselves, so it's an enormous job. They feed ~20k people two or three meals a day, which takes a bit of time to prep.

They're back today. This is cause for celebration. I was really dragging after my first couple of phone calls, so I walked over to the nearest cafe for something hot to drink.

Their new special? Pumpkin Spice Latte.

It's officially fall. I haz a happy.
sabine: (Default)
A lady came up to us and said, "This whole event has been amazing and wonderful, but you two are the crowning gems of it. Your presence brings this to a level I didn't think was possible. Thank you."

She's our favorite. Both the King of Hearts and I agree on that.

Other highlights:
  • The owner of the company walked by. We engaged her in conversation and she smiled. She kept walking, which was nice, and didn't order our heads to be removed, which was even better.
  • The dancers dressed as cards hung out with us for quite a while. It was super-fun interacting with them, as they're all a bit crazy, too.
  • The cards played a game of speed chess with the chess pieces. All were moving at the same time and not necessarily in the correct method. It was hilarious and a few minutes of utter joy.
  • I got many compliments on my costume. I'm deeply proud of it.
  • One of my cards fell down laughing - quite literally! - when she heard me proclaim "A good execution never hurt anyone!" after someone asked me my opinion on beheadings. She hadn't heard me say that yet, though it had been my response all week. That right there? Why I do what I do.
  • Simply being able to have long, rambling conversations full of total nonsense. Things I can't even remember right now because they were so utterly random.
  • Making people smile.
  • Making people laugh.
  • Seeing coworkers and accosting them or dragging them into our revelries.

My heart is full of contentment and joy. I want to continue being the Queen. I want to have Cards to amuse me and do my bidding. I want to have a King to help me up and down off of stairs (the platform was super high and my dress is super long. not a great combination) and be deferential and completely hilarious. I want to have random people in the halls bow to me and people to smile when they see me.

I can keep some of this. I can keep the nonsense close to my heart and enjoy it. I can warm myself with the reminiscence of a job well done. I can use this as a light in dark times to say, "Yes, I love my job." I can use the attitude, posture, and manner as armor to defend me from the trials and tribulations of day-to-day life.

I just....I'm really, REALLY going to miss this. Not necessarily going to miss this bone-deep exhaustion and chest cold that's starting to get out of control. I'm going back to being an extra. That should be okay. It will eventually be okay. I'm just not okay with it right now.

...but I'm also very curious to know what NEXT year's Giant Werk Conference of Doom theme will be. I can continue playing dress-up and next year might be even more amazing than this year. One can hope.


Off with their heads!


sabine: (Default)
This has been a rather exhausting week. I'm coming down with a cold and by the end of the day, my voice is completely shot. This is not good for someone who spends most of her day on the phone.

Still, the getting up early and staying rather late have been worth it. Even now, as I sit in my office looking like I've made some rather regrettable personal grooming choices (crazy hair and "interesting" eyeshadow), I can still bask in the glory that has been the last few days.

It's not hard now for me to pull on the character of the Queen of Hearts. I play her as someone a bit more stable and a bit more considerate than Carroll or Disney would assume. I appreciate my King and am gracious and non-threatening to my guests. I am unafraid of grabbing random employees and dragging them into our interactions, but have threatened several co-workers with executions when they dared to address me by name.

So much fun. And so exhausting.

As the Queen, I will begin a conversation and interaction with any passer-by who makes eye contact. Eye contact and I start addressing you. I have conversations at VOLUME with the King or any of the other cast members who happen to be nearby. We sometimes have quiet, OOC conversations, too, but most of those are reserved for when we are truly backstage and out of the view of others.

It's hard for me to shed the character of the Queen. I talk more loudly than I should. I'm more forward in my statements - which are really turning into proclamations at times. It's a bit freeing and more than a little worrying. But it's also a huge amount of fun and I will be very, very sorry when I have to hang up the character after tomorrow's lunch. I won't have another chance to be the Queen until maybe the Costume convention next spring. I will miss her. I will miss feeling powerful and in "control" of the situation around me. I will miss the feeling of camaraderie and friendship I have with my other cast members.

Sigh. This, too, shall pass. It applies to both the good things and the bad things.
sabine: (Default)
Thanks to a stellar performance on my final programming project and the good graces of our professor applying a very, very slight curve, I'm sitting at a 4.0 GPA. EVERYBODY HAPPY DANCE!

I've received my official assignment for my Werk Conference of Doooom cosplay. During the massive Tuesday night shindig, I'm the Queen of Hearts! OFF WITH THEIR HEADS! I don't have to be QoH the whole week if I don't want to. I have permission to be both Cheshire and White Rabbit if I so choose. MWAHAHAHAHA! Now to negotiate with my official costumer and buy bunny ears.

Kid birthday party is Sunday. I have a Google Doc with lists of things to do, find, clean, buy, and prep. This is how I roll. Our allergy-friendly menu will be hot dogs (Emi only), chips, fruit punch, and sno-cones. I'm tempted to make some Rice Krispy treats, just to have something in which to stick candles. I have face paint, glitter tattoos, DIY bouncy balls, sidewalk chalk, and the entirety of the park to run around in. And lures for the Pokestop that's next to the shelter.

I've spent nearly an hour and a half on the phone with a customer that's not mine. I'm the expert they need, though, so I'll stay on the line. I am both the voice of reason and the voice of experience. They're at a better place now than when their tech manager called me in a panic, so it's all good.

My EC Boom!Box is on the way. I'm SO EXCITED to see what I get! Mystery makeup!!

I'm listening to the Iron Druid Chronicles again. I'm on Hammered and things are starting to go horribly wrong for Atticus.

As always, I have too much to do at work, but I'm doing okay with it so far. So far. We'll see how the rest of the week goes.
sabine: (Default)
Today is so far better than yesterday. This may be because I had two glorious, unscheduled hours in which I could do my actual work. Unfortunately for my mental state and productivity, I'm scheduled in meetings every single hour for the rest of the day. Balls.

Good things. Listing some good things to trick my brain into having a better day.
  • I HAVE A NEW NIECE AND SHE IS ADORABLE AND WONDERFUL AND I GET TO SEE HER OVER LABOR DAY WEEKEND!
  • I'm very close to level 20 in Pokemon Go. I need to evolve a bunch of Pidgies and Ratattas so that I can level. Then I can evolve my Eevee and get something totally badass.
  • I got my yearly raise this month. I really am getting paid enough to deal with this level of ridiculousness.
  • I'm wearing one of my modified Monetas and feel like a million bucks. Modifications include: standard bodice alteration to fit, pleating the skirt instead of gathers (faster), self-drafted flutter sleeves (SO PROUD), and a V-neck with band instead of collar.
  • DID I MENTION I HAVE A BRAND-NEW BABY NIECE?!?
  • I'm almost done with the Creativity pack on Headspace. Next up is Pro 3.
  • Emi LOVES the new Kid Headspace packs. I need to try it on Alex.
  • I had an iced latte this morning. Always a good thing.
  • My nails are pretty. Espionage Cosmetics makes wonderful nail wraps. This week I'm wearing the Purple & Teal Masks. My fingers are incognito.
  • MY NIECE'S NAME IS LARA AND SHE IS APPARENTLY ALREADY A CHAMPION SNUGGLER!
  • I had my final exam for my summer CS class on Monday. I don't think I got 100 again, but I don't think I did too badly. I just have to finish the last bit of the last assignment, get it submitted, and I'm DONE.
That's actually a pretty good list. I like it.
sabine: (Default)
Less than a week to go in my Comp Sci class. Final exam is next Monday. Am I ready? Not in the slightest.

Work is crazy. There are so many competing projects and priorities and people panicking over nothing.

School starts relatively soon. We haven't done our shopping yet. We haven't done enough to encourage Alex and the potty. I'm not home much and would rather snuggle than scold when I *am* there. The house is a wreck and I don't have the spare energy to do anything about it.

Coffee with the dance ladies on Sunday was nice. It was good to see friends and get out of the house.

I've been good about getting away from my desk for lunch every day. WoofTrax tells me that I'm walking between 1-2 miles daily. More on the weekends, natch, but even on weekdays I'm usually getting a mile or 1.5 in. I'm also level 17 in Pokemon Go. These things are related, as is the ache in my left hip and ankle and the sudden increase of freckles on my forearms.

We thought my car was seriously broken, but it stopped making the scary noise overnight. I need to call to have the mechanics fix a known issue anyway. But I'm pretty much out of money for the month, thanks to the OMG!Urgent fix at the start of the month.

I started listening to a book that Audible and other review sites assured me was hilarious. I had to turn it off because I was so uncomfortable for the characters. I identify too much with social awkwardness and get really embarrassed for the characters. This happens with books, TV, movies, etc. I can't step back and find the things funny that 90% of other people do. Wacky hijinks based on misinterpreted social cues don't amuse me - they cause me distress.

I have a ton of things on my plate at work and none that I want to do. I *want* to go home, sleep, do some homework, sew, and read a book that I know won't cause me mental anguish (currently, "Beauty" by Robin McKinley. So good).

Just...feeling overwhelmed, tired, and stuck. I'm trying to take the steps to take care of myself, but it's hard. Everything's hard.

werk

Jul. 14th, 2016 05:22 pm
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On the down side, it's nearly 5:30 and I'm only just now able to start working on some things that need to get done today. Damn meetings.

On the up side, I had lunch with my family and took a Pokewalk around campus with them.
Also on the up side, I made my new/old TL laugh until he cried with my description of the Chicken Brigade and our costumed performer antics at Giant Werk Conference of Doom.
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My desktop background pictures change throughout the day. I'm running three monitors at work, so I get a nice rotation through my pictures directory. Currently, I have these three:
  • Calming manatee saying "I'd hug you if I had arms"
  • The internal monologue of Spock and Kirk while Atticus is running across Asgard.
  • A picture of my kids on the train ride last summer.
This is a nice set of my interests and things to make me happy. I need this right now.
sabine: (Default)
Friday
Arrived safely in Dallas, checked into hotel room. Found two of the five blades of my ceiling fan on the floor. Shrugged and decided to deal with it later.

Saturday
Went down to breakfast. My keycard didn't work on my return to my room, so back down to the front desk to get it fixed. Later, a group of people bang on the door, insisting that it's their room. I send them away. I work out, read my book, do my spanish and meditation, and do homework.

Later in the afternoon, I attempt to take a nap. I'm startled out of bed by a loud pounding on my door. It's hotel management, insisting that their computers say I shouldn't be in this room. I insist that I checked in last night and should be in their computer. The woman recognizes me by my tattoos and hair and says she'll fix it.

I skype with the kids for a bit and then attempt another nap. Thanks be to the listening gods, I actually got a couple hours' sleep. I went down to the hotel quick-e-mart for something to eat for dinner and heard about the computer issue that confused everyone. They gave me my dinner for free, which was nice.

At 11, we headed over to the offices to start work. I didn't have a lot of actual work to do until 3:30. I did some CS work and hung with my analyst crew. We had snacks and coffee, but it was still rough. There were a couple tiny things for me to help with between 4 and 5, but got it ironed out. Ended up leaving the office at 5:15. I got to bed at 5:30 and just stared at the ceiling for a while, too tired to sleep.

Sunday
Slept until 11. Got up. Worked out. Did more CS homework. Got hotel maintenance to fix my ceiling fan. Read. Killed the world.

Went out to dinner with coworkers to a lovely, eclectic "gastropub". Had an amazing sour lambic beer. Also had the bacon lollipops that I'd been dreaming of since the last time I was down here - super thick cut bacon, maple hollandaise, and funnel cake crispies. And a selection of other amazing, weird, wonderful flavor combinations.

Stayed up a tiny bit too late and had trouble sleeping.

Monday
Onsite again. I'm wearing a dress I made - Moneta with pleated instead of gathered skirt, self-drafted v-neck, and self-drafted flutter sleeves in a buttery soft Nicole Miller jersey from JoAnn's.

Things are going wrong, but not so wrong they can't be solved. DEEPLY annoyed at some people who know DARN WELL that I'm not in office and not at their beck and call, but are still demanding impossible miracles.

I don't know if I'll get to go to the sparkly store, which is sad, but not a terrible thing. I really want more sleep. I'm excited that I get to go home in a couple days. I'll miss the elliptical machine, but I want to see my kids, get a hug from my husband, and spend some time with my sewing machine.

Happy daydreams
For his birthday, I'm getting Alex a train toy that he really wants. I'm probably going to get Emi her own sewing machine. That way, if she breaks it, she's done and I'll still be able to work. I've told her for YEARS that I'll teach her to sew when she's seven. That's in two months. Holy buckets. I'm going to see if the grandparents can go in together to get the kids bikes. We'll see.

Costa Rica may happen next year. Need to figure out if we want to go in the summer or over Thanksgiving, so I can get the request in.

I'm a week ahead on my CS homework. So far, it's been tricky and a lot of work, but not super difficult. I kind of like this.

friday yay

Jun. 10th, 2016 01:02 pm
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Lots and lots and lots of anxiety feelings today. I slept in, so I'm actually feeling rested, but I'm heading to the airport in a couple hours. This creates massive anxiety that I then get to deal with. What if I get there late? What if I miss my flight? What if something goes wrong? What if I can't find my carpool people? What if the hotel didn't actually get reserved? What if I lose something in transit? What if something goes wrong at home? What if the kids get sick? What if Downwood gets sick?

Downwood and the kids came up to have lunch with me. We walked around the new buildings and had a good time. I got to hold onto both kids and get big hugs from them. They left to go get their swimsuits - it's supposed to be 90 today, so they're going to go swimming. I already miss them.

And my phone has been ringing off the hook. My patience with today's shenanigans is wearing thin.

Less than an hour and I head to Dallas. Whee.
sabine: (Default)
I had a dentist appointment. Nothing new is wrong. They're having me come in to have a very old filling replaced before something goes horribly wrong with it. Since I have dental insurance, I'm okay with this plan.

The rubber on my Fitbit is starting to pull away from the hard plastic display. I checked out the Fitbit forums to see what to do. Unanimously people said, "Contact Fitbit support. They'll send a new one." So I did. And they are.

I haven't started packing for Dallas yet. I'll do that tonight, I guess. I haven't contacted any of the people I know down there. Feeling guilty about that, but after an overnight shift and long days, I know I won't be good for much. I should, I know. But....am listening to anxiety brain. Not good.

I've bought more musical soundtracks. Now I can listen to Hamilton, Repo! The Genetic Opera, and Dr Horrible's Sing-Along Blog. There might be something wrong with me.

My hair is shorter and super cute. I can pull it up off my neck in a very small ponytail and the layers on my face look like anime. Super-duper adorable. Also, my stylist is still jealous of my henna. Apparently I'm not supposed to get as good of results with it as I do. I am an anomaly. I am okay with this.

Downwood is sick. I'm leaving town tomorrow. And the kids are home on summer break.

I'm kind of sick to my stomach, but that could be the extra coffee talking. And the lack of water. I'm feeling better today, probably because I got almost enough sleep.

aaaaaah!

Jun. 8th, 2016 01:22 pm
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Heading to Dallas on Friday. I get back Wednesday night.

Heading to Baltimore next. Have to be on-site for 12-hour shifts July 1-3. I will then take a couple of recovery days and die.

Am having a high anxiety day. This GIF is very helpful, but doesn't actually fix things.

Kids are both out of school for the summer.

I have a crapton of homework to do for this CS class.

BUT

I'm getting my hair cut in about an hour. And I put on nail wraps (EC Literary, for those playing along at home). And things are going to be okay.

It's just not okay right now.

weekending

Jun. 6th, 2016 11:21 am
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Alex has been having problems sleeping. He'll go to be at his usual time (~7:30), but will then wake up very sad sometime between 9 and 10. Then he gets up another couple times throughout the night. Sometimes he comes in and wants hugs. Sometimes he just stays in bed and sobs. When he's that upset, he loses his words, so we don't actually know what's wrong. I have a suspicion that he's hitting a growth spurt and isn't eating enough food to support it. Whatever the case, it's making morning hard on Momma, Daddy, and Alex. Luckily, he's done with school for the year so that he can get some extra sleep in the morning.

We walked down to our little Farmers' Market in the park on Saturday morning. The kids made a beeline for the sandbox and swings. Downwood and I got coffee and were able to browse the stalls in relative peace. I visited the library to change out exercise DVDs. Then we walked downtown. We stopped at the bakery for bread (for grownups) and drinks (juice/water for everyone!). We then hit up two of our small businesses to get presents for grandpas for Fathers' Day.

Emi has developed a rather alarming habit of bursting into tears at the slightest provocation. Instead of saying that she's upset or asking for something she wants, she immediately starts crying. Not sure where she's getting that, but we talked about it and she's going to try to do better. I told her that I would try to listen better, but she will probably still hear "No" at the same frequency.

Sunday was quiet. Downwood mowed the yard and smoked a brisket. I dyed my hair and finished my Comp Sci homework. I also finished a pair of swim bottoms and have a swim top about 70% done. Not sure how cute this is going to be on me - I think I need to modify the legs to have a slightly higher cut on the thigh - but it's an accomplishment.

I'm still not reading books or listening to audiobooks. I'm still stuck in some fairly negative mental loops. But it's not all negative and things will continue to change. Just...I'm tired and I want it to change FASTER.

Daydreams

Jun. 3rd, 2016 10:34 am
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I ordered a bunch of swatches from Silk Baron. I want to see what the different oranges look like in Real Life. Then I can choose and get to work on September's Watchful Dress. This is a costume that I Need To Make. So much love for this book. So. Much. Love. I already have the chiffon overlay and the pocket watches, but I'll need to find beads, green silk rope, black ribbon rosettes, and a brooch. Yus.

----

I need to get my measurements and put them into lekala's website. I can then order my patterns and figure out yardage. Werk officially confirmed that Cosplay During Conference of Doom is a GO. I need more costumes and I want one to be a formal Red Queen.

----

I need to figure out what all alterations I need to make to a different pattern. I want a White Rabbit outfit.

-----

I'll be eligible for another two-week sabbatical next year. I plan to take my parents, husband, AND kids. I want to go to Costa Rica. I'm reading resort reviews and trip options. No plans yet, just dreaming.

---

We'll be able to walk down to the local Farmer's Market tomorrow morning. The kids can play while parents shop. Then we can go to the library. I like this new Saturday routine.

---

I have plans for pencil skirts and other new things. I ordered a denim jacket to pair with some of these skirts and tank tops. I will be trendy. This is worrying.

---

I need to figure out a makeup routine. I have lovely shadows from Espionage Cosmetics. I need to figure out how to use them and not look like an eccentric clown. Not sure how to do that. Time to play!
sabine: (Default)
 I am home. I woke up in St Louis. I made it back to our town in time for Emi's Spring Concert.

Alex demanded to be taken home after Emi performed. It was HOT in the gym and he was done. I was done, too, so I didn't fight too hard. Downwood stayed at the concert through the Grand Finale for Emi.

I get to be home for two weeks. Then I have to travel again. But home for TWO WEEKS. I've been gone for almost two weeks, so this seems miraculous. 

Alex had a panic attack and had to come home from school early on Tuesday. Because Momma had been gone for so long.

I have tomorrow off. I may go to the fabric store and check out the holiday sales. I may just hide in the basement and sew what I already have. I may henna my hair. I may take a walk to the local coffee shop for a fancy coffee. THE POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS.

But mostly I'm home. Finally home. Thank all the listening gods.
sabine: (Default)
Jerkbrain is trying to tell me that I'm fat, lazy, useless, and awful. Logicbrain and Headspace brain are fighting back.

Lazy?
I was in Florida for work from the 14th to the 18th. I then had to cram the rest of my customer work into Thursday and Friday, since I'm out all this week, too (work, then recovery). Over the weekend, I did yard and house work, made rhubarb jam, and did science experiments with the kids on Saturday. On Sunday I did a metric ton of laundry, hemmed a bunch of things*, cut out a new dress (another Megan romper, but a dress), and took my family to the movies.** We got the kids signed up for their summer programs. I also packed because work trip today.

Also, I not only got my steps in on both weekend days, but used the exercise bike while doing my Spanish. So there.

Fat?
Yes, I'm chubby. I like ice cream. I've also had two babies and work crazy hours. I'm getting healthier and am trying to make better choices. I need to be a good example for my kiddos, but not preach to them (like my mom did me). It helps that I know how to make clothes that fit my body as it is now, which makes me feel pretty.

Useless?
Um, HELLO?! While in Florida last week, I may have told a sysadmin that I didn't care if it was hard to fix, he just needed to do it. I also pulled together the things we'd need on the database side to fix it. And wrangled the other vendor into helping. All with a smile on my face. This week is going to be mostly answering questions and keeping everyone on task. And going to a baseball game with my team. Go Cardinals!! Woo!

Also, I got all the laundry done, folded, and sorted. I didn't get it all put away because the kids were already in bed, but I got it done.

Also, I need to pay UW for my summer classes. This is the first time in my college career that I've actually had to pay, so it feels a little weird.*** I'll get most of it reimbursed at the end of the summer, but it's a good chunk of cash up front. It'll be worth it, though.

Awful?
Nah. I could be a better person, but so could everyone else. I've just finished the Change pack on Headspace and it was SUPER helpful. Very, very good tools. I'll do that one again later. Now I'm onto Pro Pack Two, then Creativity. I'm working my way through Duolingo Spanish and am getting exercise while doing it. My hamstrings are terribly mad at me, but they'll get over it.

My kids are generally happy and healthy. I spend time with them and am actively trying to not warp them in the same ways I'm warped. All new mistakes = my goal.


-----
* - Capri leggings with attached skirt for Emi, T-shirt for Alex, Ruffle skirt for Emi, Cut-off shorts for Emi (huge hole in knee = cutoffs), Cut-off shorts for me (too-short pants = cutoffs). I have skillz.

** - I was originally going to take Emi to see the new Jungle Book, but decided to take all of us. Alex did okay, but got squirrelly toward the end. He's four. It's to be expected.

*** - Community college in HS was covered by the school (I ran out of classes to take). Undergrad was covered by a full-ride academic scholarship (I r smrt). Grad school was covered by lab work. Yes, I know how lucky I've been. I also worked my butt off for most of it, but I'm still very, very lucky.
sabine: (Default)
I took the entire time of the con - Friday through Monday - off of work. Here's how it played out.

Friday
Original plan had been to head up to the con, grab badges, and go to the "It's My First Con" panel. I didn't do this. I really should have. Instead, I ran to Target and Aldi for the things we needed - snacks for us/kids, pull-ups, basic tank tops, etc.

I got to hang out with Alex a bit, then my folks swung by our house and picked him up for the afternoon. I gave Mom her birthday, Mother's Day, and Thanks For Doing Our Taxes gifts (Julia cardigan; custom tote, hand lotion, treats; two new kitchen knives). I met them up at their hotel in the evening and we chatted for a bit. Then it was off to Emi's recital.

2 hours into the recital, Emi's group finally went onstage. She was act 19 out of about 40. Good things: they kept the show moving. No announcers. No introductions. Just continuous music. Bad things: I am SO SPOILED for good dancing. Srsly. I'll give most of the kids passes because kids, but even the senior solo showcases made me sad. So much badly performed modern dance. So. Much.

After the show, Mom, Emi, and I went swimming for a bit. Then we talked for a bit longer. Emi and I got home about 10. 

I didn't get to go to the social at the Con. That makes me sad, since the reports of the freaking amazeballs costumes were numerous and jealously-inspiring.

Saturday
We got up reasonably early, but didn't get moving very quickly and ended up getting to the convention just before 10. I wore my Moneta-modded Queen of Hearts business casual dress. I also wore my playing-card-teacup fascinator. Every compliment I got the whole day was due to the hat, but it's tremendously adorable, so I'm not sad about it.

I had lots of costume inadequacy feelings. Still do. There were SO MANY lovely, complicated, gorgeous costumes and mine seemed half-assed by comparison. The panels were either very good or very bad, but I got good information out of each of them, DESPITE some of the presenters. Electrical wiring and lighting, corsetry, pattern modification, linothorax, historical weaponry, and something else that I've forgotten already. 

Downwood and I got a hotel, since we were trying to use this weekend as a minor vacation. When we checked in, I realized that I hadn't packed any of my meds. Not good, especially since one of them is the only reason I ever sleep. Ever. I fought off the anxiety eventually, mostly by calling a nearby Walgreens and asking if they could get me a refill before closing. They could. Hooray!

We had dinner with RH and sister and teacher M. It was very tasty. We compared purchases and swapped some stories. Everyone was impressed by my magical lipstick. This stuff claims to last for 24 hours and DOES NOT LIE. My bright red lips are perfect from morning to evening. So much love. 

We ended up not going back to the con for the evening event. It was the stage show/masquerade. I had too much latent anxiety and not enough People Points to deal with it. Instead of being inspired, I'd just be sad and depressed. So we bought pie and went to the hotel's free happy hour. The bartender gave me something fruity and very red. And strong. Gods bless good bartenders.

Sunday
Woke up astonishingly early, mostly due to having an early night and not getting interrupted by kids or anything. It was quiet, dark, and the bed was super comfy. The coffee sucked, as did the water pressure, but you can't have everything. 

We drove home and rescued Grandma from the kids and gave her our Mother's Day gift (custom tote, hand lotion, treats). We then went out to brunch for Mother's Day. One of the restaurants in town does a very, very good brunch. Emi ate about two pounds of shrimp. I had more pastries than is healthy. So good.

We then got dressed up and went back to the con, kids in tow. Emi wore the Wonder Woman dress I made her. Alex wore the fleece tabard and knight hat I made and "carried" the sword and shield he got at the last Ren Faire (he claimed to carry them, but it was usually me or daddy). I wore my Carmen Sandiego getup. Downwood pulled on the full Faire gear, including chainmail and leather surcoat. He also put our very expensive, very sharp swords in a rifle case. He wanted to show off his maile and swords to the arms and armor museum guys.

I got to drool over RH's blue and purple steampunk awesomeness. I got to catch the tail end of a Victorian Fashion Evolution presentation. I also got to watch an Underwear Through the Ages presentation. I also drooled over a steampunk Snow White and Aurora duo. So luscious. So ruffles. So color.

I got to see Emi go totally fangirl over first a good Merida (Brave) and then a truly amazing Anna (Frozen). The Anna cosplayer was PERFECT. She knelt down and talked to Emi totally in character. Emi was enthralled and ended up totally convinced that Frozen is a documentary. If I'd had ribbons or other awards on me, I would have given that Anna all of them, just for how she interacted with my kid.

We were only at the con for a couple hours. There wasn't a whole lot geared toward kids specifically, so they didn't have an overall fantastic time. During my underwear session, Downwood introduced Alex to the con suite. There were snacks he could have (carrots and grapes) and people to make friends with. Emi played on my phone.

The vendors were great. My money went POOF!GONE. I bought some random trim from the Jawa bins (everything a dollar, dig until you find something you like). I bought a drawstring threader and swastika measuring guide (terrible description, but accurate. It's an amazing little tool). I got some iridescent snowflake chiffon for Emi and some yellow-gold chiffon for me. I got a book on how to work with Spandex for superhero costumes. Since it was near the end of the day Sunday, I got a deal on Con-engraved pint glasses. I almost bought a set of buttons with gears embedded in resin.

I also bought a pattern for the single-pattern contest next year. And a pair of memberships for next year's con. Now I need to figure out how we're going to get to Toronto and thence to Costume Con 35 next April. And beg someone to stay with the kids.

We spent the evening hiding at home. The kids were tired from the day. I was tired from the day. Downwood was tired from the day. I did a bit of laundry and passed out early.

Monday

Slept in. Woo! I got to snuggle Alex and read lots of books. And be totally silly with him. Woo!

Did all the laundry that I would normally have done yesterday. Went up to JoAnn's while Downwood took Alex to the grocery store. I got superhero, utility, and accessory fabric and supplies. I have PLANS, yo.

We picked Emi up at school and had a late lunch together at Culver's (all hail Early Release Mondays!). While I folded clothes, Emi read to me.

I've done both my Spanish Duolingo and meditation. If I meditate tomorrow, Wednesday, and Thursday, I'll get the 180 day streak achievement. Woot!

I've hemmed and sewn the side seams on a petticoat and the ruffles. Now to gather and apply the ruffles, then pleat the petticoat to the waistband. It's a very basic petticoat that should work well under a variety of long skirts.

I'm nearing the time when I need to head up into Madison to go to dance class. I don't particularly want to go back to work tomorrow, but I'll have to leave early to go to both therapy and my monthly maintenance massage.

I'm trying to focus on the things that I did well this weekend. I'm struggling with it, as usual. My jerkbrain is loud and likes to focus on all the ways that I screwed up and was unproductive and a bad person and a worse mother.

I only have until Friday to get all my things done this week. I fly to Florida very early Saturday morning and don't get to come home until Wednesday night. Also an anxiety trigger, but what can you do.

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July 2017

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