sabine: (Default)
Denver Fabrics sent me an email. They're having a sale on knit fabric. I love knit fabric. I love making dresses, sweaters, tops, skirts, pants, and basically all the things.  

I shouldn't buy fabric. I have a lot of fabric. 

But I have all these patterns. I have patterns I've tweaked over time to fit me exactly. I have patterns I've never tried. I need fabric for these patterns.

I shouldn't buy fabric. I have far too many projects already in progress.

Did I mention how I have patterns? And ideas? 

Maybe if I only buy fabric for specific things? Would that be okay? Maybe.


(Also, this week's Myths and Legends Podcast episode is awesome. Go listen to it!)


Oct. 17th, 2016 02:29 pm
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Thursday - Med check at noon. I took a half sick day after it and just went home. I was headachy, but mostly just needed the mental health break.

Parent-teacher conferences went well. Both kids' teachers are happy with them. Alex, in particular, is so far beyond where he was last year, that his teachers are overjoyed.

Friday - Dressed up for Formal Friday in a vaguely western/steampunkish ensemble. I was happy with it. Came home and collapsed. We thought Emi had Girl Scouts, but our Google calendar tricked us. That was all to the good, as she didn't end up eating much dinner and probably would have been ultra-cranky at the end of it.

Saturday - Alex's cold kicked into high gear. Emi melted down about going to tap, but had a good time once we got her out of the house. I worked on work issues (upgrade happened in the wee hours of Saturday morning), CS homework, cleaning the kitchen, and sewing. I've made a good start on Hogswatch presents.

Emi and I made a tuna-noodle casserole that both tasted good and was safe for EVERYONE to eat. Alex had a couple noodles, but then asked for plain noodles. It was too weird to have all the things mixed up like that, but he tried it. So it was a win.

I ended up going to bed at halftime of the UW game. I am tired and need sleep.

Sunday - Homeboy was pretty miserable. Emi had been begging and begging, so we finally took our fall trip to the apple orchard. The walk from the entrance to the trees exacerbated Alex's asthma and he was totally miserable. Emi and I picked some apples and we were off. Fastest orchard visit ever. Still, we got some good apples, some fresh apple cider, and Emi got to go into their food area and buy some cider all on her own (Alex didn't want to go in, just wanted me to hold him, so Emi stepped up and was awesome).

I got all my laundry done and most of my homework. I still have a couple of bugs to work out of the homework and it's due tomorrow, so I'll be doing that instead of anything fun tonight. I got some sewing done and some more cleaning done. Alex just wanted to lay on top of Mom, so my productivity took a major hit. Still, I got enough done that I didn't beat myself up about it at the end of the day.

Today - zomg. Everything is on fire and full of bees. People across the country are panicking at me. I'm still kind of in a mode of  "Behold the fields in which I grow my fucks. Seest thou that they are barren?". My Calming Voice is getting a workout today. I haven't rolled a 1 on anything yet and my aura of "Magic of Tech Support" has already given me a couple of free saving throws.

Also, I'm tired. Alex isn't sleeping well, so neither are Downwood and I. Ugh.  But I'm wearing my new Nyx "soft matte lip cream" in Monte Carlo. It's a lovely bright red, though the matte texture is taking a little getting used to.


Aug. 27th, 2016 11:33 am
sabine: (Default)
 Working on my QoH formal ensemble. It is now officially a Costuming Project: I have both bled on it and have run out of bobbin thread with 3" to go on a seam.


Jun. 7th, 2016 02:11 pm
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I am no longer scared of my Comp Sci class. I am daunted by the amount of work, but not scared. This is all going to be well within the realm of Things I Am Capable of Doing. It's interesting and - according to others in the software industry - will serve me well. I have done my "Hello, World!" in Java, which made me very happy and proud of myself.

Also, as I sit here and iterate through the code I'm writing to help out a customer, I can see that I already have a lot of the skills that the prof wants to teach us. The willingness to test over and over. The ability to think critically about how I'm going about something. How to logically debug one step at a time. And did I mention going through it over and over?


I'm getting more serious about planning a trip to Costa Rica for next year. It seems like a better and better idea. Maybe late next summer. Maybe next Thanksgiving. We'll see.

I'm doing a better job of exercise. I'm trying a "30 for 30" challenge for the month of June - 30 pushups (wall, because I'm a weakling), 30 crunches, 30 squats, and a 30 second plank. I'm also letting my Fitbit motivate me to get up and walk throughout the day and to get in workouts during the week. I have no idea if this is helping or not. My goal is to be healthy and to not fall over dead when I finally get to go back to dance class.

My swatches from SilkBaron came! So many bits of orange silk! Choices!!

Today is Emi's last day of school. She's nearly a SECOND GRADER. How is she so big already? Time seems to pass in a flash these days. Next week starts swim lessons. The week after that is summer school - she gets to take yoga and Maker Space. I haz a jealous. The week after that starts her summer dance classes.

Alex slept better last night. He was up when I got home shortly after 9, but went to bed without too much of a complaint after that and stayed in bed the rest of the night. We'll see if this continues.


Jun. 6th, 2016 11:21 am
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Alex has been having problems sleeping. He'll go to be at his usual time (~7:30), but will then wake up very sad sometime between 9 and 10. Then he gets up another couple times throughout the night. Sometimes he comes in and wants hugs. Sometimes he just stays in bed and sobs. When he's that upset, he loses his words, so we don't actually know what's wrong. I have a suspicion that he's hitting a growth spurt and isn't eating enough food to support it. Whatever the case, it's making morning hard on Momma, Daddy, and Alex. Luckily, he's done with school for the year so that he can get some extra sleep in the morning.

We walked down to our little Farmers' Market in the park on Saturday morning. The kids made a beeline for the sandbox and swings. Downwood and I got coffee and were able to browse the stalls in relative peace. I visited the library to change out exercise DVDs. Then we walked downtown. We stopped at the bakery for bread (for grownups) and drinks (juice/water for everyone!). We then hit up two of our small businesses to get presents for grandpas for Fathers' Day.

Emi has developed a rather alarming habit of bursting into tears at the slightest provocation. Instead of saying that she's upset or asking for something she wants, she immediately starts crying. Not sure where she's getting that, but we talked about it and she's going to try to do better. I told her that I would try to listen better, but she will probably still hear "No" at the same frequency.

Sunday was quiet. Downwood mowed the yard and smoked a brisket. I dyed my hair and finished my Comp Sci homework. I also finished a pair of swim bottoms and have a swim top about 70% done. Not sure how cute this is going to be on me - I think I need to modify the legs to have a slightly higher cut on the thigh - but it's an accomplishment.

I'm still not reading books or listening to audiobooks. I'm still stuck in some fairly negative mental loops. But it's not all negative and things will continue to change. Just...I'm tired and I want it to change FASTER.


Jun. 3rd, 2016 10:34 am
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I ordered a bunch of swatches from Silk Baron. I want to see what the different oranges look like in Real Life. Then I can choose and get to work on September's Watchful Dress. This is a costume that I Need To Make. So much love for this book. So. Much. Love. I already have the chiffon overlay and the pocket watches, but I'll need to find beads, green silk rope, black ribbon rosettes, and a brooch. Yus.


I need to get my measurements and put them into lekala's website. I can then order my patterns and figure out yardage. Werk officially confirmed that Cosplay During Conference of Doom is a GO. I need more costumes and I want one to be a formal Red Queen.


I need to figure out what all alterations I need to make to a different pattern. I want a White Rabbit outfit.


I'll be eligible for another two-week sabbatical next year. I plan to take my parents, husband, AND kids. I want to go to Costa Rica. I'm reading resort reviews and trip options. No plans yet, just dreaming.


We'll be able to walk down to the local Farmer's Market tomorrow morning. The kids can play while parents shop. Then we can go to the library. I like this new Saturday routine.


I have plans for pencil skirts and other new things. I ordered a denim jacket to pair with some of these skirts and tank tops. I will be trendy. This is worrying.


I need to figure out a makeup routine. I have lovely shadows from Espionage Cosmetics. I need to figure out how to use them and not look like an eccentric clown. Not sure how to do that. Time to play!
sabine: (Default)
Jerkbrain is trying to tell me that I'm fat, lazy, useless, and awful. Logicbrain and Headspace brain are fighting back.

I was in Florida for work from the 14th to the 18th. I then had to cram the rest of my customer work into Thursday and Friday, since I'm out all this week, too (work, then recovery). Over the weekend, I did yard and house work, made rhubarb jam, and did science experiments with the kids on Saturday. On Sunday I did a metric ton of laundry, hemmed a bunch of things*, cut out a new dress (another Megan romper, but a dress), and took my family to the movies.** We got the kids signed up for their summer programs. I also packed because work trip today.

Also, I not only got my steps in on both weekend days, but used the exercise bike while doing my Spanish. So there.

Yes, I'm chubby. I like ice cream. I've also had two babies and work crazy hours. I'm getting healthier and am trying to make better choices. I need to be a good example for my kiddos, but not preach to them (like my mom did me). It helps that I know how to make clothes that fit my body as it is now, which makes me feel pretty.

Um, HELLO?! While in Florida last week, I may have told a sysadmin that I didn't care if it was hard to fix, he just needed to do it. I also pulled together the things we'd need on the database side to fix it. And wrangled the other vendor into helping. All with a smile on my face. This week is going to be mostly answering questions and keeping everyone on task. And going to a baseball game with my team. Go Cardinals!! Woo!

Also, I got all the laundry done, folded, and sorted. I didn't get it all put away because the kids were already in bed, but I got it done.

Also, I need to pay UW for my summer classes. This is the first time in my college career that I've actually had to pay, so it feels a little weird.*** I'll get most of it reimbursed at the end of the summer, but it's a good chunk of cash up front. It'll be worth it, though.

Nah. I could be a better person, but so could everyone else. I've just finished the Change pack on Headspace and it was SUPER helpful. Very, very good tools. I'll do that one again later. Now I'm onto Pro Pack Two, then Creativity. I'm working my way through Duolingo Spanish and am getting exercise while doing it. My hamstrings are terribly mad at me, but they'll get over it.

My kids are generally happy and healthy. I spend time with them and am actively trying to not warp them in the same ways I'm warped. All new mistakes = my goal.

* - Capri leggings with attached skirt for Emi, T-shirt for Alex, Ruffle skirt for Emi, Cut-off shorts for Emi (huge hole in knee = cutoffs), Cut-off shorts for me (too-short pants = cutoffs). I have skillz.

** - I was originally going to take Emi to see the new Jungle Book, but decided to take all of us. Alex did okay, but got squirrelly toward the end. He's four. It's to be expected.

*** - Community college in HS was covered by the school (I ran out of classes to take). Undergrad was covered by a full-ride academic scholarship (I r smrt). Grad school was covered by lab work. Yes, I know how lucky I've been. I also worked my butt off for most of it, but I'm still very, very lucky.
sabine: (Default)
Thing I did - Have finished both my business casual dresses - Queen of Hearts and Cheshire Cat.
Thing I did - Submitted a claim through Etsy to get the person to whom I paid money for Cheshire ears and tail. I've not heard a single word from him/her since I paid. I am resigned to not having these in time for the con.
Thing I need to do - Either find a heart purse on Amazon or go to the store and get some wooden pieces to put together to make a heart scepter. Also, E600 my teacup fascinator to a headband and it's done.
Thing I need to go - Get my Glow Cloud costume bits consolidated. Raid Emi's stuffed animal collection.

Thing I did - Got Mother's Day gifts for both my mom and Downwood's mom.
Thing I need to do - Finish decorating my last linen panel, then sew up the gift bags. I couldn't find any canvas in my stash, but I found some natural colored linen. I have Sharpies. I have mad Zentangle skills. I think you can see where this is going.

Thing I did - Worked from 1:45-3 on Saturday. AM, not PM. Felt pretty miserable all day Saturday as a result.
Thing I did - Got my hair cut Saturday morning. Just a trim to freshen up my layers. My next one's in June and I'll probably have her hack off a bunch of the length then, since it might be summer. Maybe.
Thing I did - Got a new tattoo on Saturday. It's a lotus and it's intensely lovely. It's on my left shoulder and I've decided it's the start of my sleeve. I'd been thinking about sleeving my right arm, but my peacock is so glorious that anything else seems unnecessary. But I can do a bouquet of flowers down my left arm. Yus.

Thing I did - Hemmed a pair of capri leggings for me.
Thing I need to do - The rest of the hemming from that batch of sewing. But first I broke my needle, then when I got out a new one, my bobbin decided to be terrible. So I rage!quit and haven't gone back to it. I also need to go buy more ballpoint needles.

Thing I did - Made my aerobic exercise goal for the week, according to Fitbit. I've found that I can use our stationary bike and do my Spanish Duolingo homework at the same time. Two birds, one stone.
Thing I need to do - Keep it up. Keep pushing myself to do better.

Thing I did - Got permission from work to start taking Comp Sci classes.
Thing I did - Applied to UW to be a "Special Student"
Thing I need to do - Continue waiting patiently for them to process my application. Then, assuming they accept me, get registered, pay tuition, buy books, all the college things.

Thing I did - Figured out the rules for "No Thank You, Evil". Got Downwood, Emi, and Alex through char gen. Ran a small adventure for Downwood and Emi (Alex wandered off).
Thing I did - Explained to Emi what "meta-gaming" and "power gaming" are and why she can't just add new gadgets to do things for her whenever she runs into a snag. Downwood was an excellent role/roll model for her. Surprisingly fun for all of us.
Thing I need to do - Come up with an idea for the next adventure
Thing I need to do - Find a date/time for our grown-up gaming group to meet

Thing I did - Backed out of going to my half-sister's graduation party. I'm going to be in Miami 5/14-5/18 and St Louis 5/23-5/26. My sanity won't allow me to try to shoehorn a trip to Iowa and Kansas in there from 5/20 to 5/23. Not going to happen.
Thing I need to do - Buy a gift card. Mail it.

Thing I did - Found fabric in my stash for new dresses
Thing I need to do - Adjust the sleeves on the wrap pattern to be a bit more snug. Or just put a contrasting cuff on it. Or fix it. See if I can convert a short sleeve to a flutter sleeve for my Moneta pattern. I think I know what to do, just not sure how it will look.
Thing I need to do - Cut them out once I update my patterns.
sabine: (Default)
I have finished my business casual Queen of Hearts dress. It is insanely adorable. My playing-card-teacup fascinator just needs me to get a headband to put it on and it's done, too. Super adorable cuteness.

I have nearly finished my business casual Cheshire Cat dress. It is fun and wonderful - my favorite Moneta bodice in purple with a full circle skirt in purple/fuchsia stripes. I need to hem the skirt and it's done. I also badgered the Etsy seller from whom I ordered ears and tail. Very fun.

I took 2 yards of a space-dyed spandex knit and have turned it into a ruffle skirt for Emi, skirted capri leggings for Emi, a t-shirt for Alex, and capri leggings for me. There's about 3 inches left that I can use for bindings or waistbands in the future.

Emi is feeling better. She got to go to a late night Urgent Care appointment Sunday night with her 105.1 fever. They tested her for various things and sent her home. Fluids, Tylenol, Rest. She's staying home again today - must be 24 hours medicine- and symptom-free - but is pretty much back to normal.

Work has approved me to take the Introduction to Programming Comp Sci course this summer. It's Monday nights from 5:30-8:30. I haz a sad that I won't get to dance, but a happy that I may be able (eventually) to transition to a role that has intrigued me for YEARS.

I'm doing a good job of changing one of my home habits. Now, instead of doing my Duolingo at the table or on my computer, I take my phone to the exercise bike. I learn Spanish and get a bit of a workout. This is working and I like it.

I wore my M4M Megan Romper/Dress to the BUW show. RH was dutifully impressed by the sorcery of the wrap top - even if I lean completely over, it doesn't gape. Truly astounding.

The BUW show was full of extremely high highs (Fritha! Zils!) and low lows (Costume!WTF?, Fetishwear, What is this I don't even?). I love my friends. I didn't go to the workshop and I think I'm glad of it. It was a very, very late night.

The thing I'm writing for/with Downwood? 138.5k words. Holy buckets.

I now look weird to myself in the mirror if I'm not wearing lipstick of some kind. The color doesn't really matter - I'm just used to seeing lips that stand out somewhat from the rest of my face.

I've purchased a pattern from one of my favorite designers (P4P). For a bikini. Yes, I'm going to try to make myself a 2-piece swim suit. I'm having too much fun playing with color combinations on Spandex World. I'm scared, but some of the pattern testers have bodies similar to mine and they look good in their suits. I will try this thing. I may fail, but I hope not.

And now we return to our regularly scheduled programming.
sabine: (Default)
Friday - Get my badge thing and maybe go to the "My First Costume Con" panel at noon. Normal clothes. Skip the Friday night event because it's the same evening as Emi's first ballet recital and that's way more important to me.

Saturday - During the day, Cheshire Cat at panels. Evening thing, ALL HAIL THE GLOW CLOUD.

Sunday - Carmen Sandiego or Queen of Hearts. Maybe go to the Sunday night thing. Not sure.

Monday - Skip entirely. Hide at home.

Things I need to do/purchase:
 - Arda Wigs - Cheshire wig and a white wig that can become either glow cloud or March Hare
 - We Love Colors - White, black, and hot pink tights
 - Amazon - White Glowbys
 - Etsy - Cheshire ears/tail
 - Zenni - Cheshire glasses, maybe
 - Basement - Finish Cheshire and Queen dresses. Fix LED pockets on Glow Cloud wrap
 - Kitchen - Make Queen fascinator/crown.

This is all achievable. I think. Probably. It's not fancy and it's not prize-winning, but it'll be comfortable and fun. And will mostly have pockets. Not so much on the Glow Cloud, though. Hm.


Apr. 12th, 2016 10:13 am
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Teacher M is down with my plan to start a Comp Sci certification program this summer. Anything to make me more stable and happier in my job is a good thing, especially since I don't plan on quitting. My health insurance is amazing, yo, and I need it.

Back in January (I think), I was working on a wearable muslin of a pea coat pattern. I kept thinking that it'd be okay, but turned out to completely not fit. So I took it to class last night and had ReplyHazy try it on. It fit and I told her it was hers. She has to sew on the buttons and cut the button holes, but everything's there. I am sort of sad because it's totally awesome, but I don't have the energy to take it apart to make it fit better. I know more for next time, that's for sure. And RH is super cute in it. And she can appreciate the total nerdery of the somber exterior and kind of silly lining.*

I did a bunch of yoga over the weekend. It felt nice, so I'd like to keep doing this. I didn't have the energy this morning, though. Tuesdays are hard. Maybe after work. Or something. I just need to get more active again. I'll feel better.

Werk's Spring Conference of Minor Doom is this week and next. Our culinary options are limited, since we're feeding all the extra people instead of the usual employees.** I bought bananas and granola bars to have at my desk to help with the limited menus. They're still sitting at home on the kitchen table. I has a sad.

Dungeon Roll is the current game of choice for Downwood and me. It's us against the dice instead of us against each other, so it doesn't end with hurt feelings (he crushes me in pretty much every game we play ever). It doesn't take forever to set up.*** Also, Emi and Alex can roll some of the dice to help, but they don't yet understand that they can't then manipulate the dice until Momma or Daddy has decided what to do about the current layout.

I cracked 125k words on the writing project I'm sharing with Downwood. The plot thickens and the characters are about to have a series of very bad days. Mwahahahaha.****

I caved and bought all three new flavors of peanut M&Ms. None of them suck. I was surprised. The Honey Nut are standard peanut M&Ms, just a bit sweeter than normal. The Coffee Nut ones have a nice coffee bitterness to them. The Chili Nut ones have a surprising amount of heat on the back end. Downwood claims that the red Chili Nut M&Ms have more heat than the other colors in the pack. Clearly, I need to eat more M&Ms. FOR SCIENCE.

I've been wearing tinted lip balms for the last couple months and I love it. My current favorite is Neturogena MoistureSmooth color stick in Rich Raisin. I feel pretty.

My officemate has been in the office the last two weeks. She's been on the phone and loud pretty much constantly. She was going to be out this week and I was excited. Then she cancelled her trip because of things on fire and full of bees. I am disappointed.

I'm wearing my new dress from this pattern. I'm wearing a tank top under so that the v-neck is more work-appropriate. It's comfortable and cute, which is nice.

*Star Wars. It's mostly lined in flannel with a lovely navy contrast print on lapels and cuffs. Totes adorbs.

**Not bitter, truly, just annoyed that my usual routines are disrupted. They're moving my cheese and I do not approve.

***I'm looking at you, Pathfinder card game. You're fun, but SERIOUSLY.

****A lot of guys ignore the laugh, and it's about standards. I mean, if you're gonna get into the Evil League of Evil, you have to have a memorable laugh. What, do you think Bad Horse didn't work on his whinny? His terrible death-whinny?


Apr. 4th, 2016 11:35 am
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I've notices a small shift in my internal monologue. Instead of saying "I am anxious", I'm saying "I feel anxiety." This may not seem like a big deal, but it's huge. Because if I'm *feeling* something, that will change. If I *am* something, that won't easily change.

So far, it only works for feelings. The other thoughts, "I'm too fat", "I'm not pretty", "I'm a failure", "I'm a bad person" aren't as easily shifted. Some I can rebut and say "but that's not true", but others I just have to acknowledge as being my current truth, but not my only truth.


The weekend was weird. I didn't have to leave the house, which was good. I made another dress from my stashed fabric. I made Emi the craziest, most ruffled skirt ever to be ruffled. I played with the kids. I read twenty whole pages of a book before getting interrupted.

Saturday was icky out. It was below freezing all day with gale force winds. At the top of the hour, it'd be white out conditions - snow not so much "falling" as "blowing directly sideways". At twenty past, it'd be amazingly sunny with beautiful blue skies (but still super windy). At twenty to, we'd be back to white out. Top of the next hour, sunny. And so forth. Mother Nature was clearly having a rough day.

Sunday started out cold, but got to 70 by late afternoon. The kids spent a long, long time outside. That was a very good thing, as they'd both just about had enough Spring Break. Emi went back to school today and everyone's back into the routine.


Work is moving my cheese. We have new processes to follow and new expectations to live up to. It's a moving target. Also, no signs of my workload changing to allow me to do what I really want. If I want the role change, I need to prove I can do the development. But I need time to do that. I don't have time with my current responsibilities. So if I want this change, I'll need to do the work on nights and/or weekends. Which is not good for long-term mental health.


I hope the universe lets me go to dance class tonight. I want to see my friends. I want to have a bit of time that's just for me.
sabine: (Default)
Jerkbrain is being loud. To drown it out, I feel the need to list my accomplishments from the weekend.

In no particular order:
  • Got to go to Med Hookah with Downwood. Got to sit with lots and lots of friends. The conversation was good, the service was INCREDIBLY SLOW, the dancing was good. Like, we got there at 7:30 and got drinks. We didn't get drink refills until 8:30 and didn't get our food until after 9. No bueno.
  • For going to Med Hookah, I dressed up. I did full makeup, including getting to use my new eye shadows from Espionage Cosmetics ( I also pulled out a somewhat springtime dress covered in bright sunflowers with a reasonably trendy neckline (
  • I decided I didn't like any of my other spring dresses and made a new dress for Easter. I found several yards of a floral print on what I think is a scuba knit. It's a minty teal with white flowers. I'm guessing it was from Girl Charlee, but I don't actually remember. I made yet another adjustment to my favorite dress pattern ( and had a custom fit, very pretty dress for Easter.
  • I got to go to Easter Brunch with Downwood, kids, and MiL. Emi ate ALL THE SHRIMP. Alex ate the snacks that we packed. We didn't want to risk cross contamination with other foods for him. I drank mimosas and ate probably too much. I didn't need dinner later. It was delicious and fun. The kids are generally very well behaved in restaurants, which helps make outings like that enjoyable.
  • I made muslins of both my new M4M patterns. I finally figured out the shoulder fitting issues I was running into with the shirt ( I also got lucky with my test run of the dress ( I made a peplum top, since I didn't want to commit the fabric required for a dress. Downwood loves it.
  • I did lots of laundry. Three loads on Saturday and five on Sunday. I am very glad that we have an HE washer and dryer.
  • I read a little bit, including finishing Seanan McGuire's new book. I am torn. While the book got disjointed in the last 1/4, it was an accurate reflection of the inner turmoil of the 1st person narrator. I still enjoyed it and am very much looking forward to the next book with our third and final narrator.
  • My MiL liked her birthday presents. I made her a cardigan. I also found a set of fancy dishes on Zulily. She has had fancy Christmas dishes and now she has some fancy summer plates and mugs. Covered in flowers, yo. COVERED in flowers. Very much her style.
  • I finished up the Happiness pack on Headspace and have started on the Stress pack. Stress seems to be yet another visualization pack, using the same imagery as Balance and Self-Esteem. It's good, though. I need the practice.
  • Emi and I continued to crush our 30 Day Plank Challenge.

See, jerkbrain?! See?! I did a lot of things and did them well! Nothing to be ashamed of! NOTHING!
sabine: (Default)
  • I'm getting good at Zentangles. I'm nowhere near as good as most of the blogs and I don't really want to pay the $k to become a Certified Zentangle Instructor, but I like it. Downwood wants me to post a picture with some of my favorite ones and a quarter to show the scale. He also thinks I should point out that I'm doing all this with office supplies stolen from werk and not actual art supplies.
  • The thing Downwood and I are writing is at 95.5k words. So. Close.
  • I have fabric for business casual Cheshire Cat and Queen of Hearts dresses. I have patterns and fabric picked out for a formal QoH dress. Because reasons.
  • I've been practicing making teacups out of playing cards. I have roughly 60 packs of cards I can use for crafting. So far I've made two cups, each not quite what I was hoping for. Getting the angle on the cards for the cup is harder than it looks. Also, E6000 is scary stuff. It's my new favorite crafting aid.
  • I'm sick and tired of being exhausted all the time. And of having at least one of the kids being sick. Saturday, Alex crawled into my lap for a snuggle and decided that was a good time to throw up everywhere. It will be a glorious day when the kids are old enough to be able to run to the bathroom and throw up IN the toilet.
  • I've been trying to fix a thing since Friday. Someone at the customer site did something Not Good several months ago and they just went live this weekend, so now they've noticed it. I was on the phone on Saturday and pretty much all of Sunday afternoon. I worked on it this morning for a couple hours, too. IT'S FINALLY FIXED, OMG!
  • I like colored lip balm. I have a couple of favorites now. I also have a text file called "Lip Balm Reviews" on my desktop. I don't wear other makeup on a daily basis, but I've started to enjoy having colored lips. I've also had to get used to having lip prints on my cups. So that's a thing.
  • Today is Pi Day! There will be pie in about 40 minutes. This is a good thing.
  • Work sucks. Life does not suck. Work is not life. Yus.
  • I took Emi to see Zootopia. We had the theater with the recliner seats. I also talked to the concession people and they went to the back to read ingredients for me. Turns out that Emi can have movie theater popcorn WITH "butter". Super awesome.
sabine: (Default)
I'm wearing leggings today that I made. I finished them on Saturday, along with a mostly matching pair for Emi and cardigans for my Mom and MiL. The cardigan for my MiL was going to be for me, but is ever so slightly too small across my shoulders. Pity. The cardigan for my Mom has the best stripe matching that I've ever done. My leggings have unintentional nearly perfect pattern matching around my knees. The width of the pattern on the fabric just happens to match the circumference of my knees, apparently.

I was able to catch up at dance last night. The new choreo is Greek and very fast, but folk-ish, so mostly footwork. Years and years of marching band have given me a good brain for footwork. Mostly.

Everyone seems to be mostly well. I'm still rattly through my chest, but don't feel nearly so wiped out with this cold as I did over the weekend. It was a good thing that I didn't have to do anything or leave the house. Ugh. Alex is back to normal. The nebulizer is amazing and I'm very glad we have it.

I think I have two shirt patterns altered to mostly fit. I need to add length - I am NOT 5'5" - but I graded between sizes and the shirts seem to fit well. I still need to hem both shirts (boo) but they look nice as proofs of concept. For those playing along at home with the PDF patterns, it's the P4P Slim-Fit Raglan and the M4M Mama Mya. Next on the block of "Patterns I want to make fit me" is the M4M wrap dress. It's adorable, but I'm worried about making it right. If all continues to go well, I'll be able to take some of my cheap, shapeless tunics and remake them into cheap, well-fitting tunics. Fingers crossed.

I have PLANS for more sewing projects. The Werk Giant Conference of DOOOM's theme is Wonderland, so I plan to take full advantage. I have a steampunk-ish Queen of Hearts outfit planned and have sourced decent jersey for the making of Queen and Cheshire Moneta dresses. And leggings. And maybe tunics. I care not if I get to do official work cosplay. I'll make these anyway just because I can. I might actually have something new for the costume convention. That'd be spiffy.

I've had a hard time lately being interested in books. That's okay. My worth as a person isn't determined by how many pages I read. Yes, even if it's a book I've been looking forward to.

If I meditate tonight (which of course I will), I'll complete one of my resolutions. I will have gotten a streak of 100 days on Headspace. I think this has made me a better person. I'm nearly certain it's made me more balanced. It's absolutely given me tools to let me just enjoy and experience life instead of always regretting or anticipating.

I get to see my sister this weekend. We're going out for sister time. No husbands, no kids. Just us. And the soundtrack to Hamilton. I'm inflicting it on her. She'll curse me because she'll be forced to purchase a copy. Mwahaha.

I really don't want to finish my work day today. I want to go home and sleep. I am very, very tired. It's Tuesday. This correlation is strong for a reason. That reason is Monday nights are late.

Things are okay. I am not a failure. My jerkbrain is wrong.


Feb. 19th, 2016 12:51 pm
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ThinkGeek has leggings printed with the computer screen images from Star Trek. They have them in plus size, so I looked at the hip measurements and bought some.

I haz a disappointed. They don't fit particularly well - weirdly baggy and the rise wrong. The fabric is pretty see-through, which is not optimal for leggings. The fabric isn't 4-way stretch, so I can't even take these apart and remake them with my Peg Leg pattern.

My serger has spoiled me.

I watched the Hamilton performance from the Grammys on YouTube. I had to buy the album. It's super good. I like it, but I need to listen about twenty more times to accurately identify all the voices.

One guy in St Louis thinks that I sit at my desk and twiddle my thumbs and just wait for him to give me things to do. He doesn't seem to understand I have competing priorities. And that I don't like him.

I've been Pinning images for possible Wonderland costuming. I haz ideas.

I've been seriously thinking about my September's Watchful Dress cosplay, too. Ideas, I say.

The thing I'm writing with Downwood is up to 72.5k. Whoa.

There's just too much all around right now. I'm having problems focusing. Just...ugh.


Jan. 4th, 2016 10:56 am
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While at home this weekend (more on that later), my stepdad told me that having a resolution to "be a better human" wasn't a good one. He wanted me to come up with something quantifiable so that I can prove progress.

Have I mentioned that he's been in education his whole career? A teacher and then an administrator?

So here are my goals for the year and how I will measure success.
  • Wear lipstick more often. If I wear lipstick once a week or once every two weeks, that will be more often than the once every 3 months (average) of last year. I have to decide if this means I'll wear other makeup, too. We'll see.
  • Get to 65% fluent in Spanish on Duolingo. I'm at 49% right now, so this seems like a reasonable goal. If I make this goal early (say, by June or something), I'll extend it to be a higher amount.
  • Get to a streak of 100 days on Headspace. I'm at 48 now, so I could conceivably get this mark 4 times. I didn't want to say 365, since if I mess up once, I'll have failed. I also didn't want to say that I'll work on being more grounded and in the moment. Headspace is helping with that and if I keep working on it, I'll keep getting this streak.
  • Meet my Goodreads book challenge of 175. This is doable. Re-reading counts. Audiobooks count. Books read to kids count.
  • Game at least once as a player. Pretty self explanatory. I like running games, but I miss playing in them.

Here are some smaller goals for the year:
  • Have fun with my sister at the PostSecret concert in Milwaukee in February. Reach out to Milwaukee natives to find good places to go eat and/or visit during the day.
  • Have fun at the Costume Convention. Don't beat myself up for not being as awesome as I'm anticipating all the other people there being. Relax. If I can make a costume, cool. If not, I can shop in my closet. I have Carmen Sandiego, Poison Ivy, Rainbow Brite (a blond wig would really help sell the look), the Glow Cloud (ALL HAIL), Lucy (need my own wig, though. or lots and lots of hair spray), and any number of historical bits and pieces. I know what I WANT to do, but I need so many foundation garments (proper corset, petticoats, bustle, etc) that I don't think it'll happen.
  • Find a heritage train in either MN or IL for us to ride this summer. We've gone on train rides in WI and IA already and I have this idea that it could be cool to try to hit a train every summer in a different state.
  • Start planning my 2017 sabbatical. Current thought is to take my parents, kids, Downwood, and MiL to a resort in Central America. Something where there are activities for kids, allergy friendly dining, Wi-Fi, and a beach.
  • Continue wearing clothes that fit me as I am today.
  • Continue Kon-Mari-ing my stuff. I've gotten rid of a whole bunch of things and have many, many more to go.
  • Sew from my stash and not buying new fabric. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
  • Read from my To Be Read pile and not buy new books. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
  • Try to use the library instead of just buying all the Kindle books if I don't know the author/series, but don't beat myself up if I don't change this habit right away.
  • Continue Zentangling, drawing, coloring, and paper journaling. These are good things. They relax me and make me happy, so I should do them. Don't beat myself up if I don't do it every day, though.
  • Dance. Breathe. Be present. Be creative. Be smart.
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I finished my Darth Vader-inspired dress! It's a Moneta (of course), but with a circle-and-a-half skirt and a striped overlay on the shoulders. And a banded neck instead of a collar or neck hem. I'm very proud. I will be wearing this to the movie when Downwood and I go on Saturday.

Also, during tonight's meditation session, it occurred to me that meditating is a very Jedi thing to do. And then John Williams' theme song started playing in my head. So I took Andy's (the coach on the app) advice and was just present and mindful. And it was lovely. 
sabine: (Default)
The weekend was good, I think. I still have a pretty bad cough at night, so sleep was an issue. Saturday was mostly taken up by applying henna to my hair and sewing. I finally finished all of Emi's xmas present - various princess dresses, including Wonder Woman and Batman because that's how I roll - and was able to start on some selfish sewing - leggings and a modded-Moneta-to-Darth-Vader dress.

Sunday morning I got up and did some sewing. Then I cleaned up the kitchen and did a bunch of laundry. Then people came over for gaming and pizza. I ran my Scion game for the first time in months. It went okay, I guess. Downwood was happy with it for the first time in a long time and he's reassured me several times over that the other players also enjoyed it.


I finally got to sew up a pair of incredibly soft leggings and a pair of leggings in a Marvel superhero print that is AWESOME. I have trendy legs! These are super comfortable, to the point where I may never wear actual pants again.

I am wearing actual pants, though. I have a couple pairs of jeans that almost fit - need a belt to keep them up. I have a couple of pairs of palazzo pants, too, which are basically comfy pajama bottoms that look like dress pants.

I find myself looking at tunics and palazzos on my shopping sites, not so much at the dresses and skirts that I'd been living in for the year previous. I'm not sure if this means that I'm paying attention to trends, finally, or if it means that I just like pants when they actually fit correctly. Probably a little of both. Hard to say.


Dec. 7th, 2015 01:53 pm
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I'm still sick, but getting around better. I should probably go to the doctor at the end of the week if I'm still rattling and hacking. My cough is pretty darn impressive.

Thursday evening was Emi's winter concert. Alex won't be in it until next year. Since I'm sick and Alex goes to bed early, he and I stayed home and watched the livestream of the concert, texting my mom as we all watched together from our various living rooms.

Did I mention our rural elementary school livestreams important events - concerts, graduations, and the like? Because it totally does. I love living in the future.

Friday was mostly for coming home from work and dying. So tired.

Saturday was mostly lovely. I didn't get to sleep in, but I got to get things done when everyone was still sleeping. Downwood took the kids grocery shopping and left me alone in the house for 3.5 glorious hours. I did my meditation, drank tea, and did a lot of sewing on xmas presents.

I also didn't get to sleep in on Sunday. I woke up coughing and went out to sleep on the couch. I don't think I was out there long before Emi and Ox were up and bouncing on me. Ugh. I love them, but no jumping on Mom when she can't breathe.

We put up the Christmas tree. Ox was BESIDE HIMSELF with joy. SO EXCITED.

I did a lot of laundry and frantic sewing. One of our friends with small kids is facing a possible entire lack of presents from Santa. I was already going to send them something, but decided to make some more things. Luckily, I had enough fluffy warm fabric on hand to make a mermaid tail blanket for each girl.

Then Emi wanted to wrap presents. This was not fun for me. I had to bring all the wrapping stuff upstairs. Then I had to go through all the presents and pull out everything not for our immediate family. And get it sorted. And then teach Emi how to wrap. And how to spell "Grandma". And every other name in our family.

Not. Fun.

But all the presents to go to our families are wrapped. All the presents that need to be mailed are wrapped. The presents for the friends mentioned above have no From names on them, the better to be from Santa if necessary.


I'm having my usual winter anxiety and mental upset of the holidays. It's not so bad this year, mostly. I have days and hours where the anxiety's getting to me, but it's not quite as constant as I remember it being.

Reasons for better mental state this year: meditation, art, therapy, new anti-anxiety meds.

I'm trying to shut down the negative thoughts and be more at peace with who and where I am. It's not easy. Coloring and drawing are helping. Sewing is helping. Not setting up intricate travel plans is helping.

I'm REALLY looking forward to the week between xmas and New Years. There will be psych appointments. There will be Paint Nite. There will be sewing. There may well be sleeping. There will be games to play.

I can do this. I can make it through this.

I can also re-listen to some of my favorite books. That helps.


sabine: (Default)

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